Colorado really surprises me

The first day I came into Colorado, it was about as cold as Madison when I left. But that was the only cold day I've experienced here. Every day has been in the 60s, which is fairly unusual in Colorado's December, and I've been running around without a jacket or a hat for the last two weeks. It's been great!

Of course, this will also make the transition to Madison's winter so much worse. . . Now that I've had a taste of Colorado's great weather, I'm not sure if I want to go back!

Counting down the Chinese New Year!

We're supposedly going to have a good year. . . reaching our goals and working through our obstacles. . . I hope so because last year really sucked!

Finally home (but not home free)

So I finally made it back to Colorado on Thursday. It was a literal full day of travelling. I got up and took a cab to the Memorial Union at 6am,travelled by bus to Chicago from 7am-noon, got on an airplane to Colorado from 2:40-4:50pm, went to my parents' house and ate dinner at LD Buffet! from 6:00-11:30pm, and then finally made it to Greeley at around 12:30am.

I literally slept all day on Friday. I wrote my 2nd to last paper for a while, went to bed, got up and finished it this afternoon (well, I consider it finished!).

So that leaves me with this evening. I think I'm going to sleep some more. . .

Sadly, Colorado is getting about as cold as Madison was earlier this week. Unfortunately, I didn't bring anything to wear from Madison for the cold. I decided that my Madison coat (down coat that makes me look like the kid from A Christmas Story who can't keep his arms down) would stay in Madison. It's a symbolic gesture. . . shedding my Madison persona for Greeley (yeah, right). So, I'm now just freezing a little. . . oh well.

Oddly, I have fallen completely in love with my Ugg knock-offs for the cold weather. Although they aren't technically waterproof, the snow and wetness do not infiltrate the thick layers of faux fur that surround my bare feet. Plus, they're pink!

Oh yeah, so remember that drawing of Nail's Tales? Well, here's what the real deal looks like. . . basically the same. . . .

How perfect is this? R. Stevens is da man!

4 more weeks of school, 5 weeks for panicking!

I must write papers!!!

It's quite odd that our reading load has increased with time, and the expectation of really strong papers still remains. From now on, I will write papers closer to the beginning of the term, and I will continue to revise until the end. I can't take much more of this. . . Aargh!

Six weeks to go. . . the procrastination begins!

Right now I'm listening to random selections from the Best of Elvis Costello and thinking about things that are entirely unrelated to what I am supposed to be working on: a presentation on the non-satiric poetry of John Dryden. Ah yes. . . I used to tease those darn Americanists and their flashy literature. . . Now I wonder if it was all a big mistake. . . I could do for some Thomas Pynchon or even Hemingway right about now.

On an entirely different note, I guess there's a big to-do about the new sculpture in front of the currently being renovated Camp Randall. Some people think it looks like a phallus, others a pile of Badger doody. . . Well, have a look at an artist's rendition of this gigantic statue:



**Please note that those little round things are footballs.

I kinda like it, but I'm no art critic. I just think that it's so outlandish in a way that makes people glance askew. Isn't that the whole point of art these days?

State Street Scariness

Ok, so I was one of the many people who walked up and down State and lived to tell about it. I didn't think it was all that it was cracked up to be, but I had a feeling that I should try participating in the Halloween bash known to Madison as a total disaster waiting to happen.
Frankly, it was really crowded. But, nothing was going on at the time I was there. My friends and I were wandering around, observing the crazy costumes, from about 11-12:30. .. Then we went over to the Paradise (or is it Pair o' Dice?) bar and had a few conversations. Due to daylight savings ending, we wound up our evening around 1:30am instead of 2:30am. That would be lucky for us. Apparently, around 2:30am, people were dancing in the shower of pepper spray and glass.

I heard in the news that a fellow who was dressed up like Hunter S. Thompson died. We did spot a Thompson-esque individual and a friend dressed up like his crazy lawyer earlier in the evening; however, that was a lot earlier, and there were many people dressed in many of the same costumes.

I seriously and honestly believe that if there were a way to have businesses scatter their closing hours between 2:30 and 6am, there would be less of a chance of riot. Riots only occur when tons of people are booted out of all the bars simultaneously. You then have a congregation of thousands of drunk people with nothing to do. That just spells disaster. And, I know that many folks are considering the complete closure of all businesses on Halloween. Well, that probably spells trouble for the businesses, and that still doesn't guarantee that things are going to go well. Halloween is a huge party tradition here. Who's to say that closing businesses will even stop drunk and high folks from gathering on one of the most prominent streets in the city? At least, when the bars are open, people are separated into controllable groups. Think Foucault's Discipline and Punish, people!

Spiritual Quiz

Taken from my sis:

You fit in with: Humanism Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations. 20% spiritual. 60% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Sigh. . .

Per A Fish to Be Mongered:

How will Ewan McGregor propose to you? by headexplosion
Name
Age
Gender
Favorite Ewan Movie
Where	A field full of daisies
When	A beautiful spring day
He'll call you	Honey-poo
He'll say	"My gift is my song, and this one's for you..."
He'll look like
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Decemberists and Greenblatt

Yesterday was incredible. I attended a double feature of seeing a lecture by Stephen Greenblatt and then attending the awesome Decemberists concert shortly thereafter. Although I was late to the concert, I only missed about 2 songs. It was wonderful!

I was somewhat surprised to find Stephen Greenblatt a charismatic and really funny speaker. His writing has the same qualities, but I never expected to see them fully embodied in him. I guess I just assumed that he would be the oppposite of his own work (which, I know, is a silly assumption). If you ever get the opportunity to hear him speak, don't delay. . . go see him speak! The man can spin an anecdote on its heels!



I love the architectural spaces of concert venues in the midwest. Occasionally,there were some fantastic concerts in Denver's older theaters, so I can't say that this is an exclusively midwest thin (how would I know?). But, attending the Orpheum Theater was definitely cool. The inside had a full bar (this is also a movie theater, by the way), and the seating area also had a stage and large screen for films. There was also a huge balcony area where I ended up (given that I was late, I opted for opulant comfort instead of sardine can visibility). I'm no expert of architectural style, so you'll just have to look up what kind of style the Orpheum has for yourself, although I can tell you that the walls were somewhat ornate (but not the gilded kind of ornate).

The Decemberists themselves were awesome! They played better live than what I've heard on my ol' CD, and they are hysterically funny. I suspected at some point in the concert that they were pretty drunk. . . Colin Meloy forgot some of his own lyrics in the midst of belting out his songs, but that didn't stop them from having an incredibly interactive and overall kick-ass concert. One of the audience's favorite parts was near the end of the show, when hoards of them rushed the stage to dance with the band.

Definitely a great show!

What the hell is FACE BOOK?

I guess a lot of people are getting into this service called Face Book. I just wanna know! I heard from several people that it's easy to stalk someone because you can view their entire school schedule. I also heard that lots of people use it, nonetheless. I figured I would give it a try since my dear ol' SO was forced to use by one of his university classes.

Eh, whatever.

Ever have one of those weeks?

I'm at the point this week where I am questioning whether or not I can hack it in grad school. I had a horrible week where I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and frankly it was obvious to others as well.

Here's what happened:
1. I forgot some information for my first class on Monday that made it seem as though I didn't do the reading from a few weeks ago. However, I did do the reading. . . I unfortunately only remembered the odd details and not the entire concept of that article.
2. I got semi-slammed by fellow students for not loving poetry. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some poetry. But I love novels. I really enjoy studying them, not poetry. But, because I enjoy novels over poetry (in general), I get misunderstood as not "understanding" poetry. It's not that I can't appreciate poetry. I just prefer novel reading.
3. I didn't get any of my French homework finished this week. All my fault, but it merely set me up for my failures in my next class.
4. I wouldn't say that I misread any of the articles for my novel genre class, but I didn't quite remember what they said by the time I finished reading them. Frankly, I had to do what's called a round robin this week and failed to make it anything interesting. I was in a rush because of a dinner meeting, so I just wrote down some crap and emailed it. Apparently, that crap was absolutely backwards to what the article I quoted actually said.

So, there you have it. Hopefully things will turn out better once I get some decent sleep before I fuck something else up. I obviously recognize that I have a lack of breadth when it comes to the subject of English Lit in comparison to many other students. I don't really attribute this to the school I came from. It's a combination of both me as a crappy undergrad student and the fact that I haven't been in undergrad since 1999. But right now, during midterm, I have been seriously having doubts about what is really right for me. Of course, last week, I was just lovin' this place. More than likely, I'm suffering from a lack of rest and missing my friends and family (and my SO) more and more.

Sigh.

Isabel Allende and Other Stories

I was a very big fan of Isabel Allende all through high school and parts of college. The House of the Spirits was one of the first novels that I fell in love with the discourse of literature and is probably why I am a Literature major today. Her stories have always had elements of sadness, hilarity, and sensuality rolled into a living entity. . . there has always been something organic in the way she writes her stories.

Last night, Isabel Allende spoke in Madison about her inspirations, her sadness, and her dreams. She has been criticized for not being a true magical realist because her images do not jar or jolt the reader in the same way works by Marquez would. However, her style of magical realism is so deeply enmeshed, so interwoven into who she is, that I can't possibly imagine seeing her as anything but a magical realist (or what I used to think of as metaphor taking on a life of its own). This became more evident in her personal lecture and how her dreams both influence and foretell the things yet to come.

She mentioned how her novels, and the process of novel writing, appear in her dreams as babies. Sometimes they cry with a grown man's voice; other times, they are lost and constantly searching for a way out. As a storyteller and novelist, it then becomes her job to translate these messages and resolve to bear her baby to the world.

Like her novels, her lecture intimately touched the audience in many ways. You could see the tears glistening in the eyes of every person in the room as Allende told her daughter's story. And you could here the roar of laughter when Allende described the meal she wanted to make of Antonio Banderas (naked). More importantly, you could sense determination come from the audience when she addressed political concerns; these concerns of which are entangled in her personal world as much as her public one.

Allende's lecture became for me an intellectual and emotional roller coaster -- one with twists, turns, flips, and an occasional startling pause before a large crescendo of glee.

Where's Mister Cellophane?

Yesterday was my very first trip to Chicago. The only times I've seen Chicago were either from an airport or a train station. This time, I went with a couple of friends (both from Colorado) to the Art Institute of Chicago. There was an exhibit on Toulouse Latrec, but, unfortunately, the tickets for that day were sold out. However, the rest of the museum has so much great stuff! I saw many Picassos, Van Goghs, Renoirs, Piscarros, Matisses, Monets, Magrittes, Dalis, etc. It was rather overwhelming to take in. They also had this really odd miniature room museum in their basement. We had to skip most of the older European works, American works, and Asian works because there was no way we would have been able to see it all.

After several hours of museum time, we went to eat at a really great Vietnamese restaurant nearby. I believe it was called To Pho. Really excellent. . . Plus, we just hit happy hour at the restaurant, which meant all the food was half price!

After a really fantastic dinner, we went to H&Ms for some really great deals on clothes. I have to say that yesterday was one of the best day trips I have ever taken (which sounds cliche, but in this case it is quite true). My friends and I hope to make a class weekend in the future, maybe grabbing a hotel room downtown to party in.

Later tonight, we're heading to Glass Nickel Pizza for dinner. They have the best Feta-licious and Ranch Chicken pizzas I have had in my life. Seriously. Their pizzas are hearty, but you never get tired of how good they taste. I don't honestly think I can go back to eating Blackjack or Pizza Hut again.

Ok, so this post sounds like an ad. . . sorry guys, I just got carried away. . . It's back to reading Rochester. . .

Just for the record

I will be making a hair donation to Locks of Love.
What are you kidding me? What else would I do with that much hair?!

My braid may be making a cross country tour to Coloardo first before it gets shipped to Locks of Love. It's become a lucky charm for many.

Let's face it, hair is a rather odd apendage. I know that some folks sell their hair to wig companies and whatnot, but I honestly can't imagine doing that. It's almost like selling your appendix to somebody. . . another useless body part, yet it does feel like it's a part of you in some strange way.

On another note, I have noticed the significant weight of my hair. My neck and back seem to straighten out more easily. . . hehe.

A New Haircut

I got a new haircut yesterday that looks exactly like everyone else's hair here! It drives me insane. Plus, prior to the haircut, I had hair that was down to my waist. . . That is no longer true. Now my hair isn't even shoulder length!

I do have to admit that the person I went to did a wonderful job with the cut, but I'm still in total shock!

Here's what I mean:


Before



And After



I mean, look at the back! It is seriously short!

As far as movies are concerned

In the past two days, I've seen two amazing films worth commenting on (and I'm sure that right now, many others are commenting on them simultaneously). The first movie I saw on Friday was Howl's Moving Castle. Regardless of whether you are a Miyazaki fan or not, you will leave this movie feeling giddy and irrepressably happy. I don't know what it is, but it is great! An additional plus is the contribution of Christian Bale's voice to Howl. Whoa, nelly... He can even make an animated character sexy.

The next film is Serenity, which is the darling of the web right now. I love the show Firefly. I LOVE IT. And, I can be very picky about how television shows adapt to film. With that in mind, this film is incredible. I refuse to spoil the film (which, right now, is extremely tempting), but this film takes you on an emotional rollercoaster as a Firefly fan. I cannot honestly say what other people would think and feel about the film if they weren't fans of the show, but I know that I was greatly moved.

Many people have criticized the differences between the television show universe of Firefly and the established history of the film Serenity. It's clear the reasons why Joss Whedon chose to make these changes. It's generally for the consideration of the audience members who are not Firefly fans. And I'm sure it does chafe those who are devoted to how the Firefly universe tightly functions, but given that we live with many systems of thought that have tendencies to contradict themselves, I don't see these small issues as being a problem. Regardless of them, anyone who watches Firefly will LOVE Serenity, and anyone who doesn't will probably still leave the theater with a sense of respect for those loyal Browncoats.

I left the theater feeling both broken hearted and renewed in a sense of hope. I really want Firefly to return. I really want two more films. And I really want to know more about the mysteries that remain mysteries within the great Verse.

Shiny!

So Tired!!!

I just got back from watching a crazy film. I believe it may have been Andy Griffith's first film. Anyway, it was a really great film, but the ending creeped me out from all things Andy Griffith. Damn. . . he was good!



I was also surprised at how HOT Walter Matthau was when he was younger! I mean I was totally floored.

He was sooo cute, smoking his pipe and giving somber yet heartfelt advice. Sigh!

At any rate, I'm basically procrastinating my French homework while I simultaneously debate on whether I will work out tomorrow or not. Hmm. . . hard call.

Gar! What a busy week

It's still busy! I don't have as much in terms of reading, but I do feel like I am rarely home to enjoy rest and relaxation. However, I did do the following:
Got a flat tire from a rusty nail that prevented me from going to Franz Ferdinand
Went to see Corpse Bride (which is totally awesome-- yay! Tim Burton!)and then went to a bar that forced its people to dress like German strumpets (if y'all know the Essenhaus, I'm sure you also know that it will be soon mowed over for apartments)
Went to a poetry reading by Linh Din (although I don't know if I spelled his name correctly)
Also read enough to make my eyes bleed (but only on a metaphorical level)
Found out that everyone I knows feels just as self-conscious as I do

I will probably be at a friend's house tonight for dinner and a DVD. . . Better Luck Tomorrow. . . I think it will be interesting. There's also a midnight showing of Brazil, but I think I'm just going to wait for the Netflix queue on that one.

A Night at the Eagles Club

So, we went to see White Stripes last night at the Eagle's Club in Milwaukee. Loads of fun. I am not a huge fan of the White Stripes, but I do enjoy their music. They are a great band (if you can call 2 people a band) to see live because their enthusiasm for playing is nearly orgasmic. The venue itself was cool and odd. It's obviously a huge ballroom, and we stood on the wooden, ballroom floor while thumping our feet to the rhythms of Meg White's drums. Her basic drum beats, ultimately, made the scene turn primativistic. . . the energy of everyone on that dance floor vibrated with the same beat. We soon travelled up the stairs and sat down in one of the balconies that overlooked the ballroom floor. This was an awesome view as we could see the pulsing of the room to the beats and melodies of Jack and Meg. Needless to say, I was very impressed.

Whoa, nelly!

Today was the first day of classes for me. . . It was a really fun experience. I got up early to work out with my new AOF buddies, and then I went home to shower and eat. I then went to my first seminar in Madison. Loads of fun! The discussion was interesting, people were engaged. . . It seems so long ago when people actually engaged in discussion back in Greeley. I'm really enjoying myself...

Of course, there is a downside to everything. In this case, I wasn't entirely prepared for the amount of work I would be doing. It's a lot! And I don't have my other 3 courses until next week. So, the workload is already quite incredible. I hope I can balance all of this out WITH a job. I'll be applying for a cheesy parttime job typing for TTY. I hope I get the position, although who knows. I had to jot down a basic schedule, and it left me with working only on the weekend and Wednesday nights. Oh well!

I really enjoy the fact that this grad school is non-competitive in the classroom. We have a great program, and I feel really secure with the people in my class. I don't need to worry about covering my books or anything like that. It's great!

I'm on the Outside Looking in. . .

Orientations are at full force, and I must admit that I really enjoy what I see. Everyone here is extremely open-minded and kind. I really hope this works out (especialy since I haven't even started my courses yet).

On another note, however, I do have to say something about the destruction from Katrina. It's quite a banal statement to say that Katrina is destructive, but I honestly feel that the destruction is not just on a physical or emotional level, and it's not simply something we can gloss over and pretend didn't happen in a month from now. Instead, it becomes representational of both how the people of the United States are able to support others in their own unique fashion, without any punch or persuasion from outside figures. It demonstrates that today's American Hero lies within each individual, rather than in some intangible character or high-and-mighty organization. However, Katrina also demonstrates that our government has failed to act quickly. Although many people in D.C. have stated that their rather sluggish response is not due to racism, I (like many others) take note of the fact that those who suffered the most are those that almost always suffer the most. It is our poor, our weak, and yes, our minorities that have suffered and will always suffer the most. We live in an upside-down system, where the most power rests within the privileged and select few. . . They are the few that would have difficulty in understanding why anyone would "strand themselves" with an oncoming class-5 hurricane, or why the victims didn't just "drive away" when they had the opportunity. They are also the ones who distinguish differences between "finding food" and "looting." They are also the ones who can't possibly understand why so many victims of Katrina became angry and rioted. I'm sorry, but not all of us can simply "Eat cake" when a tragedy occurs. Although I will not deny my own hypocrisy, the fact that I am safe in a graduate school in the upper midwest, I think I can easily say that the aftermath of Katrina has reflected both of what we should be proud of and ashamed of.

I heart Panda Cam

It does sound cheesy to be excited over a baby panda in DC, but you should try watching this delightful camera and discover the joys of pandosity!!!

The Panda Cam

Depression has finally kicked in

It was a dark and stormy night. . .
Well, knowing how cheesy it is to wax melodramatically, I do have to say that I am both very tired and somewhat uneasy now that things in Madison are kicking into high gear. I've met some very pleasant, down-to-earth folks thus far, but I am also thinking about the fact that there are still doubts. Doubts as to whether getting a Ph.D. is a good idea. Doubts as to what I am actually doing here.

Let's face it. I'm not the best teacher. I think I am okay in the one-on-one setting -- everyone is -- but I also realized how selfish I was in the past to short change my former students. Unfortunately, graduate school forces you to choose between being a fantastic TA or being a stellar student. . . few people can concentrate and do both. I figured it had a lot to do with being overworked with 2 classes to teach and 3 seminars to take. I found out recently that this system is rather unheard of, even in such economically tight times as these.

After meeting people here, I realize that I share these doubts with many graduate students. . . However, we are constantly trained to hide these true feelings. Many other students, due to their own insecurities and doubts, begin to gnaw at you and ridicule you for "keepin' it real" or whatever. You have to pretend to be an absolute, self-righteous asshole or else people will socially punish you for it. And this arrogance, this egotism, is the reason why Academia has such a bad reputation in other contexts. The ivory tower was really constructed to protect our egos from criticism and expectation.

I can partly sympathize with the views within and without academia. It's not looking good either way.

They don't call it Mad City for nuthin'

Yup, the entire university is in a publicity uproar over the Princeton Review's ranking of us as the #1 party school. Quite coincidentally, this came shortly after the US News & World Report's review that we are the 8th best public university in the country.

I think this demonstrates that we have the smartest students in the country because they can go to class totally inebriated and still pull off a high ranking as a public university. Now that's sayin' somethin'!

I also heard that CU Boulder is off the party list. . . Given that most of their parties end up in riots, alcohol poisonings, or showers of tear gas, I can see why.

At last. . .

I'm almost finished unpacking and ordering my new apartment in Madison, WI. So far, the weather is very humid and sticky. . . I hate rolling around in sweat all the time, but most people have told me that my body will adjust to the weather after a few weeks. Well, it's been two, and no. . . no adjusting has yet occurred. Although, I did notice my skin is much softer and my hair much frizzier than before. ARgh!

What I greatly anticipate is the new semester at a new school. I can't make any comparisons with the old program, and I must think positively and intelligently (with a slight degree of skepticism) while I am here. I must also learn not to talk so openly about my increasing OCD. It's never a good idea to meet new people who are not accustomed to the OCD experience. Not fun, not one bit.

I also stocked up the refrigerator with many beverages. I have 1 six pack of Guiness Extra Stout, 1 quart of Chocolate Silk, 3 12packs of Diet Rite in assorted flavors, 1 bottle of fruit juice, and 1 remaining bottle of a local microbrew.

I know that many folks in Wisconsin believe that their beer is the best, but come on! I'm from Colorado. Microbreweries like Breckenridge, New Belgium, and Oasis are phenomenal. You cannot compare Milwaukee beer to the beer in Colorado. There's just no denying it. Sorry Wisconsinites. . . your beer just isn't as good!

How can you compare a beer with a name like Smiling Cow to Sunshine Wheat??? You really can't!

I also don't understand Packer Pride, but I didn't really understand Bronco worshipping either. Let's face it; I'm just here for hockey!

keeping tossing packing moving

Aack! Yet again, it's the end of a lease, and we're in the midst of a disaster area while trying to sort, toss, and pack all of our wonderful things. I will need to have a huge garage sale at the end of this month to get rid of everything that I can't take to Madison.

I'm also planning on moving to Denver in the interim while the SO remains here. Blech! I'm so sad. . . I've been at the same school, with the same friends, for too long. I am excited for the change (I usually love moving and starting new), but I hate the process of moving. I'm a major packrat, so it becomes incredibly difficult for me to part with the material crap that I've saved over a year's time. In this case, most of the crap has been accumulating over many, many years. Sigh.

Ewan, bring your Jedi butt over to my house!!!

Oddly enough, everything is finished

I can't believe I am done! I'm finished with grading, and I've graduated with a 4.0 for my MA! I feel good.

I also feel like I'm missing something. . .

I will try to get some articles going for publication this summer, although I am not expecting much here. I figured that it would be good practice for the future.

I will also try to watch all the films I didn't have a chance to watch yet. . .

And I will be reading all of my Thursday Next novels. I might have to go back and read the Eyre Affair again because I can't quite remember what happened.

I've also been playing Katamari Damacy like a mad fiend. I started from scratch and am working on Star 8 now. Man, if only I didn't feel like vomitting after an hour of play. . . It's sooo good!

I'm really tempted by the new cingular Star Wars Sony Ericsson phone. . . Really tempted. . . But, of course, I'm more tempted by the picture of hot, saucy Ewan against my ear. . . *shudder*

It's 2:30am, do you know where your ideas are?

Let's just say that I am one of those ultimate procrastinators. . . Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I am in the middle of my very last paper for the term. I think I have too much I want to say about my subject. I'm currently working on the functions and images of Asians in Firefly, the Joss Whedon TV show. It's going ok. I hope it doesn't suck too bad because I would like to present it at a conference or something. I also hope that people think I am bashing Joss Whedon because I am a huge fan of Firefly (Serenity will be awesome). But, these kinds of essays always sound negative because they are cultural criticism.

One of my friends did some heavy duty research on fans within academia. It's honestly a hard thing to determine whether academics are really fans of the works that they study. I don't know. Obviously, in the case of Firefly, I am a big fan; otherwise, I wouldn't know what I was talking about. But, am I fan of other literatures and media that I have studied? I don't know. . . I guess I can't really write on the things that I hate. . . they almost have to be the things that I appreciate, at least. . .

I also wonder if my procrastination is really a sign of my fears about the future. I have attended the same undergrad and masters program (out of sheer last minute planning, mind you), and I really wonder if I have what it takes to succeed in another program. From what I have seen, which really doesn't amount to much, I think I will probably be ok. But I am a bit worried. . . And I wonder if this worry is preventing me from finishing this paper. I even see these long-ass tangents that I keep taking. I haven't even gotten to the meat of my argument, and I am at about 8 or 9 pages into it. Sigh.

My worries are very unclear. I am very unclear. I think I need to quit stallling and cut to the chase. I'm graduating tomorrow. By next Wednesday, all my grades will be turned in, and I will be finished turning them in. This will be the last summer I spend in this stinky town. . .





I miss it already.

Ahh, Ewan. . .

My god! A Ewan McGregor montage courtesy of Montage-a-Google!

Lazy bunny. . .

Our bunny is totally lazy and weird. We had food in her cage for several days, but she kept sighing and being bratty by refusing to eat the other day. So, the S.O. picks up some hay for her. Instead of eating the hay, she moves the box it's in so that she has the perfect setup for reaching the other food comfortably without having to get up.

Creepy. . .

Of course, I'm currently using Blogger, which is owned by Google. So, when I saw this video on the takeover of media by Google, I was literally creeped out. It's creepy because it could easily happen!

Googlezon

Holy Smokes!

It just goes to show how addictive smoking really is! Damn, that is some funny shit! Apparently, this chimp in South Africa even hides the smokes from his zoo keepers. Naughty monkey!

Ok, I can't help but find these discussions on social class hierarchy to be totally amusing. I love indietits!

The scary, yet interestingly bizarre, RuPaul doll! The very first transvestite doll ever made!

The RuPaul Doll

This has got to be one of the most interesting things I have seen lately:
The RuPaul Doll

Then again, I do live in a cowtown.

American English

Yet again, my sister found a funny lil' survey to take:

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

15% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

AAACK!!! 2 more weeks!

Only two more weeks before finals. Which means, we English majors only have 2 more weeks to write three 20 page papers. Yikes! Of course, this also means that I will be procrastinating as much as possible via my blog in the next two weeks.
Good times!

Oooh. . . text generator!

Yet another really cool text generator that was referenced by Wil Wheaton. I think it's cool just because it pulls off some rather funny stuff from 80s pop culture:
Text Generator

Mythological Beast Quiz

Ki-lin You scored 80% Esotericism, 14% Power, and 34% Malevolence!

A mythical being of Chinese mythology, comparable with the Western unicorn. Ki-lin personifies all that is good, pure, and peaceful. It lives in paradise and only visits the world at the birth of a wise philosopher. The unicorn, which can become one thousand years old, is portrayed as a deer with one horn, the tail of an ox, the hooves of a horse, and a body covered with the scales of a fish. It is one of the four Ling.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 95% on Esotericism You scored higher than 5% on Power You scored higher than 49% on Malevolence

Link: The Mythological Profile Test written by LacedWithASmile on OkCupid Free Online Dating

The Brits know a pimpin' good time

I normally don't post specific links to articles that are funny (well, don't we have a million different sites to do that), but this is just ril, ril funny:
Exposed: filthy poet pimp who wrote the Georgian gentleman's guide to prostitution

I finally passed. . . yet I still have sooo much to do

Well, Friday was the big day. It was the day of my infamous masters presentation. . . a sort of quasi defence of a 30 page paper from hell. It turned out really well. I provided a ton of food, including delectable croissandwiches, and booze (like 4 bottles of wine and a six pack of Harp), so many of the faculty and students did turn out for it. I thought I was going to get hammered with questions, but I was only asked about 3 or 4. They weren't even that hard. In less than a minute, I left and came back to the room for a round of congratulations. All was well with the world.

Well. . . now all that remains are the few papers that I will need to write to graduate my courses and all of those student papers that I must grade for my own courses. It is quite a lot considering there are only a three weeks remaining in the semester.

Sigh. After this, I just need to find a job (the hardest task any masters student must attempt).

Filling the Void with Beer

Alas, after all of that grading and reading and writing was complete, I finally feel a short-lived void in my life (at this exact moment in time). Tis a weird experience.

On a lighter yet not so light note, many of the grad students who have presented their projects thus far (2) have passed. Not necessarily with flying colors. No, instead, with much crying, and sometimes with biting and kicking.

I don't know what to say about the whole process. I guess I was really never that excited about my project to make it subsume my entire life. . . yet I was also never really so apathetic that I treated it like a piece of crap. So, I really don't know how to sympathize with this emotional catharsis. I think I already experienced that during my awkward writing process.

. . . Which, for all practical purposes, really did help me out. I mean, I complained heavily and wept bitterly, but I've really found that I feel so much better about the project as just a paper. A dissertation then becomes just a paper. A much longer paper, but a paper nonetheless. Graduate schools, PhD programs, and my unknown career in academia don't really seem that daunting anymore.

Of course this brings about other problems that I need to deal with. . . specifically, the logistics of graduate school. I've found that I still need to figure out how I am going to move, what I am going to get rid of, and how I'm going to live without my S.O. That seems to be the worst thing thus far, yet it's really not THAT bad.

Life goes on. You get an artificial tan, and the fake UV rays seem to make the monumental clouds go away.

Just like the old philosophers used to say Q.E.D. -- aka Knock off and have a beer!

Some much grading, yet I still don't care!

I have to ask myself why I am in the teaching biz, and I now know the nature of my love/hate relationship with this career. I love teaching. I love discussion. I love hearing my students, even if they are pontificating, talk about whatever it is they want to talk about. But, I've finally come to the conclusion that I absolutely hate grading with a passion. Grading just sucks.

At any rate, I just finished writing a first draft of my presentation with my handout, and I have just shipped it out to my reading committee for their opinions. I am also planning on providing food and alcohol to the presentation for everyone that is willing to show up. Since it is nearly the end of several presentations, I know that the "encourgement" from food and beverages will definitely help with my reception.

Other than that, I am still waiting on my first choice school to give me the final info on my additional fellowship. Still waiting. . . and waiting. . . and waiting. . .

back in town and absolutely hating it

I finally got back into town around midnight on Sunday. It was quite the whirlwind experience, and I loved every minute of it. However, now that I am back, the things that only slightly irritated me now REALLY piss me off. I can't help myself.
I've also found myself incredibly behind. I got absolutely nothing done in terms of my own school work during the break. So I've been in the process of pulling all nighters and praying to the almighty caffeine and fruity water god for help. It's not been working too well, so I'm really hoping for a second wind to get me back up to speed after this weekend.

In other news, I think I've made my final decision for grad school. . . but I want to wait about 2 weeks before I send out all of my notifications. I need to wait because this school promised to contact me about more funding ($$), but they are currently on break now. Once I get the $$, I'll accept. Hell, I might accept anyway.

We have a final countdown in terms of our MA projects. I'm the last person in the "graduate on time" group -- meaning that I will be doing my presentation on April 8th at 5pm. Good times. This is far more nerve destroying than the actual process of writing that damn paper. The main scare is the 20 minute question and answer session from hell. Basically, people who have never read your paper are now allowed to interrogate you about the paper and grade you and fail or pass you based on how well you answer questions. Thus far, they have passed many ass clowns because they had no criteria. Now, they have plenty of criteria, and they are ready to roast us away.

Good times, good times.

Cheese curds rock!

Ok, maybe they don't totally rock. . .
I'm currently in Madison staying with a pack of grad students from UW. These last few days have been really cool. Everybody here is super nice. . . and the program appears to exceptionally rigorous. They are currently trying to work out additional fellowships for me. . . I'm getting sold on the idea of being here, although the housing situation is a little strange. I don't particularly want to live with a roommate, but this seems to be a big necessity.
Next stop will be Tucson. . . they are offering me a ton of money to attend their university, and they are really excited about meeting me on Friday.

Ok, it's really difficult to make the right decision about graduate schools. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet.

More on being trapped in jello

I'm currently trying to finish the entire rewrite of my masters project while simultaneously packing for Madison. I leave for Madison tomorrow night. My SO has been kind enough to write me lists of things for packing, carrying, remembering to do, etc. Sigh.
I hate my project. It's become this monstrosity that is no longer mine. I cried and cried all day yesterday after I was told by my committee to rewrite the entire thing by Friday afternoon. I cried even harder when I got home because I knew that I had lost my personal integrity.
I honestly don't think it will be too hard to find a job after I finish grad school. I might not become a professor, but I can probably become somebody's personal yes man or something along those lines. My unguarded self has left the building. It doesn't even matter any more. . . Now I know that my own thoughts are absolutely worthless to the ego-sucking academics who can only think of themselves.
I don't know what else to say about this whole process. First, I suppose, is never have someone who isn't tenured yet chair your committee. Next is to drop someone the minute trouble is brewing. . . even a hint of it. Last is always have two different copies of an essay ready in case one is going to be rejected outright at the very last minute.
It is now practically the 11th hour. I have no idea how I'm going to end my paper. I have no idea if grad school is really like this all the time. I honestly wonder if I will devote more time to blowing my nose into kleenex and rubbing my eyes raw with toilet paper.

Sooo sick!

I am suffering from yet another cold this semester. It seems like everyone I know and teach is sick or has been sick. This, of course, comes at an inopportune moment. I am literally about 7 days away from the deadline for my masters project. I feel like I'm trapped in jello.

On another note, I'm also trying arrange my travel plans to Madison during my spring break weekend. It's pretty crazy because the only method I can afford is via train and bus. So, I will probably be sitting in a coach seat for about 18 hours or so. After that, I will probably be on a bus for another 4 hours. Good times.

I need to hear back from the grad coordinator to make sure that I don't miss any tasty treat activities on my arrival and departure days -- of course, I probably will because the most awkward times for arriving and leaving are the cheapest.

I'm also planning a trip to Arizona. . . Tuscon wants to visit me, and they appear to have plenty of money to do it.

Oh, head cold. . . how you torment me!!!

So Happy, I might end up dead or incarcerated...

I just got into one of the biggest and bestest schools for English Lit in the 18th Century. I cannot believe it!!!!

I found out via email, in a rather casual, hey, btw, you've been admitted to our program. I love this!!! This has been the best day I've had in sooooo long! I'm ecstatic!

Of course, this may mean that I will have to force my SO to move to a cold-weather climate, but too bad for him! It's too important to go anywhere but here!

I even did the happy dance of life. Yay!

Such a sad day

I really find the apt words of Eric Burns on this day to be quite poignant. Today is the last day of Queen of Wands. I loved reading this strip. It was one of my first introductions to webcomics, and I remained a die-hard fan of this strip till the end. And the ending was exactly what I would have expected for an ending.

I don't normally get emotional when it comes to webcomics. I just don't. But today, I started tearing up at the final goodbyes, especially the goodbye to Denver.

I think many of us, at some point in our lives, realize that we must take that extra step -- that step away from friends, family, and familiarity -- to move forward. I'm glad that Kestrel is moving on. I'm glad that Aeire is moving on too. But, I really had hoped in my somewhat escapist and idealistic daydreams that this ending would have been delayed for a while longer.

I already miss it.

Is it still February?

I am always saying this, yet it seems truer every year. . . Isn't time flying by? So, now I await the news of my masters project. ..I will probably get a ton of criticism on it, and I'll only have about 4 days to get it squared away as a final draft. I also have to apply to OSU's scholarships, and I was considering entering my paper into an 18th century contest for $100 and publication. I was thinking about the JASNA contest, but this year's topic is outside of my range.

I think I have about 3 presentations to prepare (including my project's presentation), 3 final papers, and about 3 or 4 books I need to read during Spring Break. It's going to be a ton of fun. yeah, right.

Many of us in the program are freaking out about the future. We worry about what's going to happen to us if and when we graduate with our Masters. Our hopes are that we get jobs or go to schools or even survive the realities of unemployment and academia in a not-so-great economy.

You would think that I would be used to this. After all, this isn't the first time I've graduate with a degree. But, I'm not the kind of person who can kick back and relax when there are so many things that are unplanned that make a major impact on my life.

But, kicking back is what I'll have to do. After all, you can't control the world. Not all the time, that is.

The Joys of Finishing Yet Another Draft!

I'm now on the proofreading portion of my journey. Oh Frabjous Day! I'm also simultaneously watching Blade II while I try to catch all of my weird antics and typos in my last full reading of my project. Now the project will fall into the hands of my reading committee. . . Whether by my own foolishness or genius, my entire committee is comprised of the toughest readers in the department. I wanted meticulousness. . . I wanted perfection. . . But now I want to be done with it all.

I don't think this will be a problem. Another interesting turn of events is the schedules of my faithful readers. They are busier than anybody else because they are also serving on 4-5 other people's committees. Maybe it's a good thing? It's hard to say. At any rate, I plan on having a draft to them no later than Tuesday. More than likely, I will be dropping it in their mailboxes sometime tomorrow.

On another note, my S.O.'s birthday will be on Tuesday. We are planning on somehow celebrating his 28th birthday over next weekend because he has some kind of evil, demonic test in a clas of difficulty on Wednesday. I am planning on, hopefully, getting him a copy of the latest South Park (which is coming out on the same day as his B-Day). This should be exciting and fun for him, I hope. I think he just wants a nice lunch at LD Buffet. . . .well, we'll see.

We had dinner at Roma's tonight. . . It's the first time we've eaten out in months. Eh. . . it was okay. Nothing special. Once you get used to the joys of frozen food and take out pizza, nothing seems to really fill the void of hunger any longer.

A committee we will come!

I'm finally putting the finishing touches on my project before I send to my reading committee this week. I think this is one of the most difficult parts of revision, although it becomes an almost addictive task.

How do you end up rephrasing things when you think you've done what you can? That's the hard part.

Lots 'o racism in really weird ways

Ok, so I live in Colorado right now, and we all know that Colorado is not the most tolerant place on earth. But come on! I just realized a large portion of my students are racist. And, as my S.O. neatly explained, not racist in any type of an original manner. They are cliche racists. Many of them explain away their racism and ignorance in catch phrases and in sentences that we've often heard stated by politicians and other public speakers. They are not even thinking about the fact that they are racist, and this scares me more than anything I've encountered before.

Perhaps they realize that I am going to be freaked out by this and are doing it intentionally. I don't know. Frankly, I'm going to say that cliched phrase, that "I am concerned about America's future" because I've been noticing this as a growing trend in incoming freshmen. Maybe it's just me living in Colorado. Maybe it's different elsewhere. . . However, after this year's election, I'm now seriously concerned that this is a growing trend that no one is stopping.

What the hell happened? Now my parents live in fear. They make sure that they have American flags and patriotic bumper stickers surrounding them in a fence of polite acquiesence. They are terrified that we may one day issue those great, 'ol concentration camps of yore in order to "help out" and "protect" minorities from others. Their paranoia is laughable to an extent, but when one of my students tells me that the only kind of racism that truly exists is lynching. . .well, let's just say I'll be putting up a few flags of my own.

The Perfect Job Generator

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A revisin' we will go. . .

Right now I am currently revising my master's project while watching Dodgeball simultaneously. Nothing is better than working on literary criticism while watching a slapstick movie. I also saw Harold and Kumar for the first time last night. Damn, that was so smart in its funny.

I don't think I can get used to this semester. Usually, there is a point during the term where I have completely adjusted to it. But this term, for whatever reason, is totally different. I keep feeling anxious, like I want to run a mile, but I don't really know why. It's not senioritis. I've experienced that before, and it's a totally different feeling. It may be from lack of sleep. . . but I think my body has gotten used to that. I just don't know why I feel totally weird.

I've also developed an obsession with my master's project that is probably unhealthy. I perceive everything through a lense that relates to either gothic literature or Jane Austen. I'm totally creeped out by this. I want to learn to think outside the box, but I know that I'm really closing the walls in with this project. I've even had dreams of revising it in very specific ways. It's another reason why I've had a hard time sleeping.

I hope this isn't some unhealthy habit that develops into something extremely detrimental. I want to think that I can overcome some of my writer's block through the process of this blog, but I also know that I cannot talk specifically about my project or anybody that I work with. Damnit. I'm beginning to wonder if I can handle a Ph.D. program-- everyone feels unsure because we're in a program at a small, unknown school. If it's like what I am currently experiencing, that's probably no issue. I've definitely enjoyed these last 2 years more than what I've done prior. But, I also worry that when things change, I may become disillusioned (again). I would love to have a job in academia, but I know that it's slim pickings. I'm okay with that. Of course, that does leave the future in suspension.

The S.O. might not be moving with me to my graduate school. He may finish his degree in Colorado instead. This also puts a kink in the "well-planned" machinery known as my future. I don't know what to think with respects to that. I wonder if what I am doing will really make any difference. I also wonder if it's worth the sacrifice of other things that I find equally important. Oh well, I haven't found out from several of the schools I have applied to. So, I guess we'll wait and see.

Excess Baggage

I'm currently reading Eliza Haywood's Love in Excess. It is quite a tantillating novel, and I'm absolutely smitten with it thus far. I should have it finished tonight. . . then, on with Cultural Studies, woo-hoo!

On a different note, I am trying to figure out how to shake my addiction to Vitamin Water. I wonder if this stuff is made by the devil because, frankly, I cannot get enough of it. Cheesy enough as that is, whatever they put in their water must have addictive chemical substances. . . Or maybe it just tastes REALLY good.

At any rate, thanks to Vitamin Water, I was able to kick my caffeine habits. I was a former Coca-Cola drinker. . . we're talking about a six pack and a half a day! Now, I only drink coke when I go out to eat, which is a rarity. I'm even beginning to ask for regular water at restaurants instead.

However, this doesn't stop my full force craving for that delicious Vitamin Water. Seriously, I think I'm going into withdrawals. . . and it's only been two days!!!

On a not-so-commercial note, I will be anticipating the criticism that will fuel my third draft of the Masters Project. I guess I will have a total of about 5 of these things. Sigh. Only 5 more weeks to go before I probably have to present. It may even be less than that. I'm scared!

A Topic for Rock Film!

Finally, I figured out the topic I want to work with in the Rock Film class. I would like to talk about globalization as it is represented in Daft Punk's Interstella 5555. This film combines anime with Daft Punk, and it's awesome.
I'm totally thrilled. . . and I'm hoping to find some sources to incorporate into this paper. Yipes!

Nobody knows loving like a PhD!

Big brains are sexy. . . and Diesel Sweeties rocks!

Blackboard, Blackboard, toil and trouble. . .

I think I am rather computer literate. Although, I hate those kinds of snazzy little terms that sound oh-so-cool in this post-modern era, but I honestly think that I do know my way around software apps and the like. However, it was tonight's tango with Blackboard that left me scratching my head for a little while. . .

Typing in student grades didn't seem to be too much trouble. I did this late Friday night. However, tonight I noticed they weren't even there! So, I had to dig them up and retype them into their happy little places. I would love to be able to upload a spreadsheet with my grades into Blackboard, but apparently I don't have the kind of administrative access it takes to change the roll. This is very odd to me. I mean, why shouldn't we be able to add and remove anyone we want from Blackboard??

Along the lines of conspiracy theory, the missing harddrive from my university is still MIA. Apparently, benefactors of life insurance policies are also at risk for identity theft. One of my TA buddies is hoping that the thief just wanted the hdd for Everquest 2. One can only hope.

This is also our last week for job candidates. Well, at least for the committee that I'm on. Good times. The greatest thing about this whole process is the free meals. The second greatest is what I'm actually learning out of it. Academia is amazingly difficult to procure a job from. I'm a little concerned, but I'm hoping that 3-4 more years of this will help me out with my heebie-geebies.

As my advisor and former child of the eighties once said, "Never let 'em see you sweat!"

Grading Papers, la-la-la

I don't know why I constantly do this to myself, but I have already assigned my students short papers for the research class. I promised that they would be graded by tomorrow, but I sincerely doubt that I can get them graded in that time. Probably Friday will be the lucky day.

Why do I do this? I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I sincerely enjoy procrastination. I also feel pensive about my masters project. Yup, this will be an ongoing whine session about my pathetic abilities in writing a complicated argument, but I don't care. That's what blogs are for, right?

Anyway, I wish I could say more about my absolute frustration with many things. . . primarily on a personal and/or administrative level. However, there is an issue with Colorado in that it has defamation laws. In other words, if I bitch and complain about specific people, even if there is barely a hint as to who they are, I can be sued. It sucks. Especially now, when I am faced with a number of people that I wish I could just slam online. Hell, they probably couldn't even find me or my blog anyway. But, I can't take that chance. It's an unfortunate thing. The cathartic feelings I should be experiencing while I blog are never going to come to fruition because of these crazy laws.

I will say that everyone is a hypocrit. And you really have to watch out for those people who claim to absolutely hate hypocracy in other people. I think that everyone should be wary of specific individuals throughout their everyday experiences. Here, in fact, is a list:

• Anyone who says that they hate hypocrits
• Anyone who says that they are doing something for the "principle of the thing"
• People who make snide remarks about complete strangers in public places
• People who frequently comment on all the "good works" they've been doing for society
• People who sound like they know what they're talking about all the time in that rather "I know what I'm talking about, and you don't" tone. Of course, there are definitely people who know what they're talking about because they are experts in their fields. But, we do seem to have an overabundance of people who act like they know what they're talking about but don't. . . They seem to frequently show up in middle management positions.
• Anybody who seems slightly off in a bad way. There are definitely people out there who seem slightly off in a good way -- they are usually creative and fun people to hang out with. But, I'm sure we've all met people who are slightly off in a bad way. Your sixth sense has some kind of "spidey sense" moment, and you usually aren't sure why. . . yet. Go with your gut. If you see crazy coming, cross the street.
• Anyone who is incredibly self-centered. I'm not talking about the general self-centeredness that most of us have. After all, we live in a post-Cartesian kind of culture. Instead, I'm referring to the folks that always seek the center of attention and suck your soul.
• The poser as "sexual predator." We know these kinds of people. Guys and girls tend to elaborate on their sexual experiences, but these folks always have a "story" about something totally fucked up. You don't want to hear it, but they'll tell it to you anyway.
• The eyebrow archer. No matter what anybody says or does, they always arch their eyebrows in that person's general direction. Occasionally, if they have a fellow eyebrow archer, they will exchange glances while you're talking. You have no idea why, which is part of their point.
• People who enjoy compiling lists. . .

What can I say? I know I'm an absolute hypocrit. I think I do a chunk of the items I have just mentioned. But, I'm also misanthropic, so I figure it's ok to piss people off. . . I would rather not hang out with them anyway. I can tell the misanthropy kicks in after a while because I always end up hating most of the people I get to know well. It's terrible. I've given up working on my horrific personality because I figure I'm still ahead of the rest of the people I know. . . who basically suck beyond total comparison. Hehe.

Not a good week

Well, this week has definitely had its ups and downs. Here's a recap:

• Our university's back-up of their payroll records were stolen. Good times. I had to call my bank and the credit bureau to get things squared away. Identity theft seems to be an inevitability.
• I got my draft back for my masters project. Looks like I'll be writing a new draft.
• We watched Woodstock the movie for my class. After about 3 hours or so, we realized that we may have the wrong version of it. Apparently my good ol' SO says that he watched a 2 hour version several years ago. We got the Director's Cut. We should have watched the theatrical release. Sigh.
• I'm starting to break out in a skin rash, thanks to the dry weather, the overall stress from my personal finance situation, the robbery of all our information, and the inevitable outcome of my applications to Ph.D. programs. The last time I broke out in a rash was when I worked for IT during one of the worst viral threats of the year. I looked like I had leprosy. It wasn't fun.
• More reading and writing than I know what to do with.

On the other hand, I do find that both Research classes I am teaching have some pretty sharp students. Of course, there are other students who I've yet to hear talk. . . In fact, if I were to bump into them on the street, there's a good chance I wouldn't recognize them. And it's already the end of week 2. I really need to work on that. . .

I always wonder if it's ever a good idea to trust your employer with all of your financial information. However, given the circumstances of getting your paycheck in the mail, it always seems like direct deposit is the best option. This isn't the first time I've heard of sensitive material being leaked at a workplace environment. I used to work at a hospital, and they accidentally threw away copies of their financial records in the trash. Without shredding them. Or putting them in a bag. A huge wind picked up and blew these records into the parking lot.

Another instance included a woman from HR asking about "blacked out" portions on someone's personal file at a contracting company. Also not good.

Yet another was when a large file of "volunteer" donations and their donators were discovered to be directly linked to pay raises at a large plant. Also not good.

Should we really trust the folks that cut our paychecks? Why do we immediately provide them trust when we wouldn't give that trust to your average joe? These people in HR are average joes. I even wonder if they go through any additional training programs or certifications to learn how to handle confidential materials.

So tired. . .

It's the second week of school, and everyone has mentioned the fact that it feels like finals week. I turned in the majority of my project draft to my advisor on Tuesday. You would think this would be a huge load off of my shoulders, but I still feel inundated by all of the work that I know I will need to do to complete this thing. Sigh.
One thing I am very grateful for is the fact that I will be getting some additional funds from loans this year. Thank goodness for deferrment. I am going to try my best not to get loans for the remainder of my education -- that is, if I get into a Ph.D. program. Right now, I'm pretty much up in the air on that one.
It's not even 11 yet, and I'm about to go to bed. I suck.

Another Day in Paradise

Today was the last evening of a decent three day weekend. I am up to 28 not-so-decent pages of my masters project. I'm debating about even turning it in because it is horrible. Well, I've already sent me email to my advisor. I'm sure he's going to supress the naseated feeling of mediocrity as he tries to digest my craptacular paper. It's all just swell.
I've been trying very hard to keep up in my classes. So far I've been ok. But, I knew that I shouldn't have taken that rock film course. I am horrible at film analysis. It comes from having the worst sense of visual acuity and a penchant for getting really sick when watching films that shake and swerve. It's all from the advent of dolby surround sound. That puppy just kills me. Anyway, the reading load is intense for that class (which is what I expected), the films are great except for the fact that it takes me about 5 times to finally get what I want out of a scene or sequence. I frankly am concerned with what I am going to be writing my final paper on. Hmmm.

Well, so far, I've got some ideas for paper topics for my other classes:

1. For my Cultural Studies course, I was considering an analysis of the television show Firefly (specifically the first episode) and how it demonstrates the conflict between the current politics which exist under the Bush administration and the ideal politics of the historical republican party. I also wanted to address the sublimation of the Chinese in these politics through the use of language in the show. It's interesting how the United States and China merged to form the Alliance government, yet there are hardly any Chinese in the show. It's also interesting how English is the primary language used for business and politics, yet Chinese is only used for profanity and other primative utterances. Why the difference if there is a merging of the two cultures? It demonstrates our assumption that we are the superior culture to China. I'm hoping my prof will be cool with this idea. Otherwise, I'll probably analyze shoes or something.
2. For my 18th century course, I want to take The Mysteries of Udolpho and talk about the social class issues in the novel. Most of the time people focus on the gothic elements, but I think that there is a real key to social class concerns that arise throughout the novel. Over last summer, I read many of Radcliffe's novels for my masters project, and I found an intersting passage in Udolpho that discusses how Theresa the servant can't understand why Emily cannot marry Valancourt. Emily says it's because of her lack of esteem for him after she was told about his lascivious lifestyle in Paris. Theresa thinks there really isn't anything to the concept of esteem; to a poor person, esteem doesn't really matter if you love someone. That moment in the novel demonstrated a rift that exists between the lower and upper class folks. It is constantly demonstrated through Emily's gullibility, and how she is often convinced of the honesty from upper class people (until she learns better) and how she finds that lower class servants only speak idle gossip (again, until she learns better).
3. I don't know shit about rock films, so I don't know yet. . .

Philosophy majors do rock!

Anytime anything references philosophy, I am on it! Questionable Content is one of the best webcomics, and I just love the fact that my years of philosophy courses can pay off in "getting" a joke on metaphysics and epistemology.

Anne Geddes and Celine Dion = Spawn of Devil

This is hilarious. I first saw this calendar from Hell at Borders in Denver. I didn't realize that this kind of horrific sublime could exist outside of the 1790s.

The last day of freedom

Today is the last day of Winter Break. My final spring semester for my masters program is finally here. Am I prepared for it? Not in the least. Here's a basic summary of what's already happened:

1. I'm still not finished with my first draft of the impending doom known as the master's project. I am hoping my advisor won't have a fit when I turn it in on either Friday or Monday of next week.
2. I've already received some heavy duty reading assignments for the first day of class. And yes, I did say the first day of class.
3. Remember that washer trouble? Well. . . we just bought a new washer today. That took up about 3 hours of time. Now we're struggling with the semantics of how to get it up the !%#@#$ stairs!
4. I still need to prepare for my first day of teaching in the semester. I'm using Blackboard this time to house the grades and everything else. I still haven't figured out how to put in my extended readings. I think I might try scanning them in and then converting them to pdfs. But, the hard part is figuring out how to scan them in without losing the crispness of the text. Or, I might just do things the old fashioned way and make photocopies. Hmm. . .
5. I think I got fatter over the holidays. Sigh.

Of course, it's all a matter of pre-panic and antici---pation for the new semester. But, I suppose part of this mini-adrenaline rush is the reason behind why I enjoy school so much.

Blech

I am sick as a dog, but I'm still working on my project. Barely. However, regardless of how I feel, I need the draft done by Sunday.
I'm also planning on taking a French class at the local community college. Unfortunately, the class is at 7:30am. So, we'll see if that works out.
This week is one of the worst weeks to be sick. I need to buy my textbooks, get my syllabus copied, and register for that French class. I'm excited for the new semester. But, I would be 10,000 times more excited if I could breathe.