It's 2:30am, do you know where your ideas are?

Let's just say that I am one of those ultimate procrastinators. . . Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I am in the middle of my very last paper for the term. I think I have too much I want to say about my subject. I'm currently working on the functions and images of Asians in Firefly, the Joss Whedon TV show. It's going ok. I hope it doesn't suck too bad because I would like to present it at a conference or something. I also hope that people think I am bashing Joss Whedon because I am a huge fan of Firefly (Serenity will be awesome). But, these kinds of essays always sound negative because they are cultural criticism.

One of my friends did some heavy duty research on fans within academia. It's honestly a hard thing to determine whether academics are really fans of the works that they study. I don't know. Obviously, in the case of Firefly, I am a big fan; otherwise, I wouldn't know what I was talking about. But, am I fan of other literatures and media that I have studied? I don't know. . . I guess I can't really write on the things that I hate. . . they almost have to be the things that I appreciate, at least. . .

I also wonder if my procrastination is really a sign of my fears about the future. I have attended the same undergrad and masters program (out of sheer last minute planning, mind you), and I really wonder if I have what it takes to succeed in another program. From what I have seen, which really doesn't amount to much, I think I will probably be ok. But I am a bit worried. . . And I wonder if this worry is preventing me from finishing this paper. I even see these long-ass tangents that I keep taking. I haven't even gotten to the meat of my argument, and I am at about 8 or 9 pages into it. Sigh.

My worries are very unclear. I am very unclear. I think I need to quit stallling and cut to the chase. I'm graduating tomorrow. By next Wednesday, all my grades will be turned in, and I will be finished turning them in. This will be the last summer I spend in this stinky town. . .





I miss it already.