The South-East Asia Earthquake and Tsunami

The South-East Asia Earthquake and Tsunami

The last day of 2004

My main New Year's Resolution is to have my master's project completed before school starts. Hey, I go easy on my resolutions because then they are that much more accomplishable. Aim low, and you'll have outstanding results.
I would love to become a more fit person, maybe exercise and eat better. I think this might work out this semester.
I would also love to find a decent paying job for the summer. Until I figure out where I will be and what I will be doing, of course.
I will also be more involved in charities, specifically concerning the tsunami in Asia. We were quite taken aback during our Christmas weekend to hear about what had happened. This is the worst disaster our generation has ever experienced.

Help the poor, starving English major!

Help out my organization! I am currently the president of my local English Graduate Student Organization. Like most English majors, we desperately need money! Your support via shopping on the internet can help us flourish.
Just click on the following link http://www.igive.com/html/refer.cfm?memberID=389811&causeID=30548

I'll be posting this icon on my blog so that it's ultimately more accessible.

Piled Higher and Deeper

We're currently making two piles for all of my crap: the crap that I will be selling on ebay and the crap that I will keep. Consequently, of the crap that I will keep, I have to again divide into two piles: the crap that goes with me and the crap that gets stored. I'm getting an almost Bertrand Russell kind of feeling.

I think to myself that if I work diligently at selling stuff at ebay that I will be able to purchase more really nice shoes. I'm beginning to see the positive results that Birkenstock can offer.

Oh well, back to piling. . .

Yawn! and Yay!

I finally finished editing my course syllabus for the Spring. I'm including all of the same readings (for my own personal skimming needs), but I've compacted the reading load into less days so that I can add two more videos into the mix. I'm teaching a research paper class, and I've made it to specifically focus on American culture and the American dream. I've included The Merchants of Cool and Barbie Nation for my weeks on consumerism and gender (respectively). I also usually show American Pimp when I discuss race and class issues. Hopefully, I've paced the essays out more (I have a hard time gaging my own grading limitations) so that I can get all of their drafts back on time. Last term, I had some difficulties with keeping up with my own rigorous essay schedules. I had to drop one essay and one group presentation in order to make room for more grading time. That was horrible. I'm still keeping those two items out, but I will be requiring both group and individual conferences on rough drafts.

I think it's important not to require a grade for the rough draft of the paper. By the time the students write the rough draft, they are more concerned with overall feedback than an actual grade on the paper. However, I definitely wouldn't say that this is a good idea for any other paper. They need a grade on every paper prior to the rough draft in order to feel secure in their overall class grade. At first, I wouldn't accept such an idea. But then it happened to me in a graduate class. I never received any of my grades until the portfolio was turned in. That was a really bad experience.

Other than that, I've got to head back to the office to return two library books and change the grade of a former student. Then, it's back to working on my master's project. I'm actually quite excited to have it completed (well, in about a week -- for the first draft)!

Post-Xmas Withdrawal Symptoms

After we finished snorting the remaining egg nog, things seemed to become less real. Sure, it could be the images we see on the new HDTV are too crisp for reality. Or sure, we could be finding out that the commercial values of Xmas happen to infiltrate the rest of the shopping year. Possibly, I've finally been able to relax and reflect on the last semester without any moment of anxiety. Who's to say. All I know is that once I leave my folks' home, I am returning to an unfinished master's project and an extremely specific deadline.

I am ultimately grateful that I don't have the standard 9to5 drone job that makes me want to stab myself to death with a wireless mouse. I've been there. But, I am hoping that the value of academic work will one day increase in monetary value. Yeah, right.

Right now, I am using my younger, richer sister's laptop to type this note. I've noticed that this cursor keeps bouncing from the line I am currently on to a different random line. Yet, it's not actually random. In fact, I found out that because I habitually rest my thumb on the bottom of the keyboard, I've been "clicking" the touchpad of her computer inadvertently. This causes the cursor to move to where the pointer was.

This is interesting. Only because it points out how some odd coincidences can be easily explained through some type of habitual behaviors in an unusual environment.

I wonder if everything we do, regardless of how minute, is representative of all of our concerns. And if I, as an individual, know that my small stuff represents me, then I could kind of assume that an individual becomes completely representative of an entire culture. All individuals are representative of their culture, sub-cultures, etc.

This could be an interesting thought considering how many people blog like mad fiends. And how many of those people are like me, watching some freak on Food TV while blogging away on a semi-possessed laptop.

Damn that egg nog!

Of course, considering my luck

The washer died. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Our circa 1970's industrial size washer has died from too many khaki pants. I now have a pile of half soapy, mostly wet clothes on my floor. The wonderful days of washing machine eden are now over. I will now have to *gulp* use a laundromat until we decide on what to do. The S.O. suggests that we should put off purchasing a new one until after the big move (if I get into a Ph.D. program). I think we should purchase mini-me versions of our previous washer and dryer (and that they should come in some type of neutral color aside from polyester yellow). In either case, it looks like I'll be taking some laundry home for the holidays. Mom and Dad, here I come!

Laundry Day, Laundry Day

Today was a total waste of time. I'm currently in the process of procrastinating my master's project. This is day 3 of my "technically" working on it. I spent this morning sleeping in. This is a nice luxury that few can afford to do during the semester. I also went out for a nice tan. I used to be against getting tans in tanning salons until I found out that the occasional unnatural zap of UV prevents me from going into a deep depression. This was something that I should have done when I was going nuts last term. Oh well. I then watched Shawn of the Dead with the special commentary on weird zombie references. Then I turned on some episodes from Firefly and have been doing laundry ever since.

It's a really disturbing and disgusting habit of mine to do laundry only about once every three months. I had a theory as an undergrad that if you had enough socks and underwear, you could probably avoid doing laundry indefinitely. That's where I am at right now -- out of matching socks and underwear. I'm currently in the process of washing my second load of whites. Next will be the blues, and then finally the evil reds.

Yesterday I was again a total lame ass by watching the entire set of episodes for the Long Way Round. If anybody knows me even slightly, they know that I have an absolute and undying obsession with Ewan McGregor. And I have to admit that I would probably never want to meet Ewan in person because I have the fear that I would no longer hold him on such a high pedestal. I've found this to be the case whenever I meet famous people I crush on. For example, I was absolutely smitten with Adam from You Can't Do That on Television. I met him in the flesh at a bank opening in Denver, and I was totally crushed that he didn't meet my expectations. First off, a lot of those episodes were reruns, so I didn't expect how much older he would be in comparison to me. Second, he's a lot taller and thinner than what's shown on TV (yes, the cliche holds true). So, I was totally taken aback when I found him to be somewhat gangly.

All in all, I think it's perfectly fine to have an obsession with someone famous and unattainable. As long, of course, as they remain completely unattainable.

For once

I had to meet with a student today because of plagiarism. I dread these meetings. I dread them because no matter what the student says, I usually keep the failing grade the same. But today's meeting wasn't as bad. Normally, most of my students get either really angry or they start crying (or both). This person was relatively calm, acknowledged a level of guilt, and was already planning on what to do to correct the situation. They didn't blame me or give me dirty looks. I was quite pleased with this and even let the student into my next course.

I've been debating about giving up on the whole idea of checking for plagiarism. It's a real pain, and nobody is ever satisfied with the consequences. Other TAs don't seem to do it, and I hate playing the "bad cop" out of the group. Frankly, I also get tired of filling out the paperwork and determining the fate of the student just because they ran out of time.

Well, "just because" is obviously not a good enough reason to plagiarize. The other side of the coin is that I wouldn't feel okay if I just let someone get away with turning in an assignment that they stole or bought. I would want to let them know that they got caught and that they will be punished.

It's been getting easier. I've been assigning umbrella topics for the Research class and specific topics for the Composition class. This almost guarantees no plagiarism. Since I've done this, my average in catching plagiarists has gone down to about 2 a semester. Not bad. I also use http://www.Turnitin.com to scan the papers. A year ago, I was pulling my hair out trying to find the source material, but this site does it all for me.

All in all, I don't personally regret the stiff policy on plagiarism. I just hope that the next time around I can completely eliminate it. I don't enforce the classroom like it's a police state, but I would hate to find that my students have been lying to both me and their academic conduct code.


On another note, I am debating about turning in the "keys to the kingdom" and relinquishing my duties as graduate student rep. I've been doing the rep thing for about a year and a half. I think I've made some significant headway. My advisor recommends that I stick with it until the near end of the term. I don't know. I personally don't know if I want to continue with it, but I also worry that all my work towards establishing good faculty-student relations (which we didn't really have before) and master's project requirements (didn't have this either) will go down the drain because the next rep won't focus on these things. Some of the students think that everything is wrong with the world and attempt to fix all of those things. Other students don't voice their opinions because they are shy and afraid of offending the faculty. So, we have ourselves the two polar opposites, people who talk too much and people who don't talk enough. Frankly, I am not sure who would be good for the next position. So, I would rather make sure that I get everything done for my own project before I turn over the position to someone else.

It's a minor dilemna, but I don't have a life outside of grad school, so these are the problems I'm mostly concerned with. What can I say?


On yet another note, I found an email address of a former boyfriend and friend. He managed to get himself into Duke for law school. I sent him an email a few days ago. He just replied today with an email that makes me not want to reply back. Blah. I don't really have much of an interest in seeing high school friends any more. The idea of a reunion used to be cute -- now it doesn't seem like any fun. He also asked about the well-being of another former high school friend I haven't seen in about 10 years. I have no idea how this person is doing. I don't really care that much either. I don't mean to sound cruel and heartless, but how many of us actually keep in touch with our high school friends after 10 years? Sure, there are some friends that I had for quite a bit longer (usually because we also went to college together), but please!

It's only funny because it's true. 

Well, well, well

The end of the semester is always an eventful time for me. This one seems especially so.

I often wonder how many folks actually skim through this puppy. It's a new blog. And I'm a famous person (yeah, right). I had a lot happen today that I am completely unable to discuss. So, I'm just going to generically say a few things about one main issue. This, I believe, is the biggest problem with the way things are going right now. It's the appeal and the use of bullshit.

Bullshit seems to be appearing more and more frequently these days. Some people use it to beef themselves up. Other folks use it to excuse their errors or poor judgment. Frankly, it shouldn't be used at all.

Let's face it. I could take a real diachronic perspective on bullshit. Back in the days where most people were secure in themselves (if those days ever existed), you could differentiate between the average joe and the bullshitter. The bullshitter would be that guy or gal who would always brag about their dates, their expensive flowers and/or dinner reservations, their knowing so-and-so or bumping into "that" one guy, their catching the biggest and baddest fill-in-the-blank without much effort, etc. We all knew who they were. And we either avoided them like the plague, or we went along with what they were saying but simply nudged each other when they weren't looking. Those were the good old days when you could distinguish most bullshit from the real deal.

Nowadays, it's different. So different. Nowadays, anyone and everyone has been forced at one point to bullshit about something. Like the time you had to embellish your resume. Or that other time you had to excuse your rude behavior and explain it away as diabetes. Or that other time where you had to say that your best friend's best friend died, which was why you missed the most important meeting/class/introduction in the entire world. We've all done it. And, we used to be slightly embarassed or ashamed of our actions. But, now we're not. Now, it seems like we take a lot of pride in what we do.

My friends and I actually coined the "bullshit flag." I'm pretty sure many people have also come up with this metaphorical indicator for when bullshit is beyond belief. I've noticied recently that I've had to "raise" this bullshit flag more often than I ever had before. And I can't imagine what these bullshitters are thinking when they speak their bullshit. Do they believe that we believe? Do they think that we don't know the difference between fantasy and reality? What's the deal here?

Well, the deal is this. We've gained a greater tolerance towards bullshitters. We provide them jobs. We feed and clothe them. We even acknowledge and promote them. We do this because we're bullshitters too. We also do this because of the bad economic situation we've been in. I had a former coworker and friend tell me that he frequently bullshits his way through interviews. He lies about getting a bachelors degree. He lies about applying himself at the next job he'll eventually get laid off from. And he lies about where he enjoys shopping, just so he can get his foot in the door.

We shouldn't condone his behavior. Hell, no! But what's a guy or gal to do when there are no jobs available? You don't really have much of a choice. You just have to suck it up and start vomitting the next set of fancy fables. Otherwise, the guy next to you will provide the same, or more, bullshit to beat you out of a job you barely had a chance with in the first place.

And once you start bullshitting at one thing, what stops you from bullshitting at other things? Nothing. And once that gets going, what do you end up teaching your kids? Well, obviously, if it's okay to get a job and keep up in society with bullshit, it can't really be that bad, can it? Of course, not.

We all need to assess what's going on here. We need to figure out what to do to cut down on this overwhelming onslaught of bullshit material. It's the patriotic thing to do, damnit!

Of course, how much of this commentary is bullshit? One lick, two, three. . . Well, the world may never know!


On a slightly more upbeat note, I got a really great deal off of ebay for two pairs of pink flipflop shoes! When the world seems to crumble at my feet, shopping for shoes is what remains.

Paranoia can get the best of you

Ok, so I happen to be totally insane. I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I thought that my DGS was out to get me. I know, I know. . . I'm absolutely nuts. Well, when it's right after finals week, and you've been deprived of sleep for the past two weeks, you'd be a little nuts too.
He wrote me a wonderful letter of rec. I mean wonderful in the most wonderful way. And yet, my paranoid self assumed that he wrote a bad rec. Probably because of the size of the letter. Whatever. . . Did I account for small font? No. Did I account for my own paranoid delusions after weeks of sleeplessness? No. So what do I get? Shame. Major shame for even considering that he was being mean to me.
All in all, it's a lesson to be learned. And did I learn it well. I was grateful for the fact that I came to my senses and that I thanked him regardless for the time he took to be my DGS, regardless of my suspicions. He's a great DGS. I'm a total schmuck.

Ladies and gentlemen, never make a decision about someone when you don't have the capacity to make decisions. It's bad ju-ju.

I'm sending the letters out anyway. They're going out priority because I am a total dick.

The Look of Love. . . budum budum budum

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention the unmentioned. . . why pink? Well, pink has been growing on me. And I also wanted to make this site hell on the eyes of the hung over. There. I said it. Happy now?!
There is something to be said about the winter holiday as well. First off, I hate the term Christmas Break. Not everybody celebrates Christmas. Well, for obvious reasons. I try to make very non-descript winter holiday cards for folks. Frankly because Christmas kinda sucks. I love the presents and the food. Love the food. But, I don't know what to say about a holiday that takes pride in stringing a bunch of gawdy from hell Christmas lights in the hopes of attracting local attention in the evening papers.
And what the hell is going on with 80s and 90s remakes? For the love of all things pure and cool, please do not do any more remakes!!! That just makes me feel really old, which I'm not.

Yay, Chugworth Academy! I think English majors are always hoping that their literary period will make a comeback into the mainstream. But don't the costume lady's comments say it all? You can find Chugworth at http://chugworth.com/ 

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life.
Today is the first day that I've experienced having nothing to do. I can't even say that is true for the entire day. The first half of the day was doing what I promised myself I would have done yesterday. I just finished mailing out all of my Ph.D. applications, and I'm not crossing my fingers on this one. I also was ordered to take a break during my "break" before I jam out some of my master's project.
I don't know how many people have to write a project during their MA program, but I know that we have to. It's ok. It's basically a 30-50 page way to say that you love someone -- or not. I'm doing mine on a book by Jane Austen. She's great. Some of her fans are scary. And I am a total poser. I have to admit that I've only read 2 1/2 of her books. Yup, you heard me, you freaky Austen nuts! I'm hoping to remedy this over the break (and at least before I graduate to better things).
I should give a detailed account of my past year at the small university in redneck hell, but I won't. Instead, I can give you a summary. I worked my ass off. It was long and hard, not to add more of a phallic image to this. The town smells like ass. I have no social life outside of school anymore. All my friends either went back to law school or dissolved into the ether known as tech support hell. My significant other (which I will dub the S.O.) doesn't make much sense since his ramblings convernted into degrees kelvin. Need I say more?
I think my goal in life will be to write cheesy movie scripts for the new teen crowds. I will convert the classics we have learned to love into these cheesy movies. It will be great. Well, I doubt its greatness, but it will probably make me some good money if I become successful. Hmm. . . maybe I ought to think about law school. . .

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