Sarcasm vs. Nature

I hate you, hiccups

I hate that you show up unannounced, especially when I'm wearing tight jeans, trying to make a nice impression, or watching a silent film with famous professors.

I hate the fact that you stay with me for at least a day, if not a few days.

Why won't you leave me alone???

When people try to scare you away, it doesn't work. When I've tried drinking a glass of water upside down and backwards, I get giggled at. When I've taken deep breaths, you've misled me into thinking that you've left...but, oh no... you're just hiding. You really like that, dontcha?!

Well...let me just say that you're really walking a fine line... my patience is wearing thin with you.

I'm heading to bed. If I see that you're still here in the morning, I'm going to have a few words with you...