I'm at the point this week where I am questioning whether or not I can hack it in grad school. I had a horrible week where I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and frankly it was obvious to others as well.
Here's what happened:
1. I forgot some information for my first class on Monday that made it seem as though I didn't do the reading from a few weeks ago. However, I did do the reading. . . I unfortunately only remembered the odd details and not the entire concept of that article.
2. I got semi-slammed by fellow students for not loving poetry. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some poetry. But I love novels. I really enjoy studying them, not poetry. But, because I enjoy novels over poetry (in general), I get misunderstood as not "understanding" poetry. It's not that I can't appreciate poetry. I just prefer novel reading.
3. I didn't get any of my French homework finished this week. All my fault, but it merely set me up for my failures in my next class.
4. I wouldn't say that I misread any of the articles for my novel genre class, but I didn't quite remember what they said by the time I finished reading them. Frankly, I had to do what's called a round robin this week and failed to make it anything interesting. I was in a rush because of a dinner meeting, so I just wrote down some crap and emailed it. Apparently, that crap was absolutely backwards to what the article I quoted actually said.
So, there you have it. Hopefully things will turn out better once I get some decent sleep before I fuck something else up. I obviously recognize that I have a lack of breadth when it comes to the subject of English Lit in comparison to many other students. I don't really attribute this to the school I came from. It's a combination of both me as a crappy undergrad student and the fact that I haven't been in undergrad since 1999. But right now, during midterm, I have been seriously having doubts about what is really right for me. Of course, last week, I was just lovin' this place. More than likely, I'm suffering from a lack of rest and missing my friends and family (and my SO) more and more.
Sigh.
2 comments:
Keep trying Em.
Man that sounded like a bad week. Well, I crapped on my speech today. I was under 50 seconds (really bad).
Of course you don't have to like poetry. Geez your colleagues are judgemental. hehe I bet some of them don't like novels. That should shut them up.
I feel your pain. Everybody's especially judgemental in liberal arts and art majors. One week your work is pure genius...the next utter crap. The only thing that keeps me going is setting some time to do something that involves my major that I love. Set up sometime to post an opinion or read articles if it makes you feel worth while. It keeps me going after a hectic day.
Thanks. . . I really appreciate your comment. It helps put more perspective on things. . . plus, now I don't feel so isolated in my "failures." hehe
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