Caffeine. . . so evil yet so necessary

Upon the advice of friends, I decided to drink a medium cappuccino to stay awake tonight and finish my homework. Caffeine is the devil. I quite drinking caffeine entirely last year. I only drink it in emergency, all-nighter situations. So, now it's 4am, I've finished most of my homework, and I can't go to sleep. I'm worried if I go to sleep, I won't wake up in time for my9:30am class. I'm also rather jittery. .. I wrote up an email for tomorrow, that I'm not entirely sure makes sense now. . . I also read, wrote my topic proposal for the same class, edited my friend's intro to his master's project, and wrote my friends about a summary of Althusser and the ISA. I'm freakin' out. Why would people ever want to put themselves in the precarious position of taking amphetamines to stay awake and do homework? My hands are shaking, and I don't know if what I am thinking actually makes any sense. I'm totally weirding myself out, and now I know that I will, at some point in the day tomorrow (well, technically today), completely crash and burn. Which totally sucks. Blah! How do people handle drinking caffeine so frequently? I'm worried about having a heart condition. . . my heart is beating so fast, and my hands are all shaky. Plus there are moments when I pause and get all drowsy, but then I suddenly stir with hyperactivity. This really is a weird state of being. I don't even remember what I was like when I drank caffeine. . . I wasn't even a heavy coffee drinker. . . I mainly drank tea and coke, so I don't know if this is the coffee or what. And I was foolish enough to order a cappuccino, not a regular coffee, a cappuccino. . . But I used to love cappuccinos. . . How? Was I a different person on caffeine? Was I happier, sharper, and more awake? Maybe human beings shouldn't always be in that state? Maybe it's a new state of consciousness that we normally couldn't access in our regular state? I don't know. . . I sincerely doubt that what I am saying right now is pure brilliance or anything like that because my hands are simultaneously tiring and numbing from my hyperactivity. . .


Damn caffeine!

Coffee, tea, or me? I don't drink caffeine!

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

What the Bleep?

I was absolutely amazed by the film What the Bleep Do We Know? last night, but there are definitely many questions it raised. I know that many people have written on the oddities of quantum physics (such as Zukov's The Dancing Wu-Li Masters), but I questioned the validity of many hypotheses that were explored in this film.

This was the one thing I was both amazed and quite skeptical of:

http://www.whatthebleep.com/crystals/

Apparently, this japanese fellow would tape words or blessings on bottles of pure water then watch them freeze and snap a picture of the result. . . It was quite surprising, and I'm not sure how the hell this would or could be real. I mean, he speaks Japanese, and all of these experiments took place with Japanese text. Would there be any difference in English or any other language?

My skepticism grew when I discovered that he is an alternative medicine doctor and does not have other medical degrees. But seriously, is this legitimate? Because if it is true, it's amazing.


(The above image is for the new sequel of this film. . . It's supposed to come out in Winter 2006.)

Paranoid

I really don't want to dwell on this particular thought because of the following reasons:

• If it's true, then everyone here thinks I'm an idiot
• If it's false, then I'm just an idiot for thinking it.
• I could be digging myself into a hole
  

I've had a rough time last semester adapting to both living in Madison and working in the PhD program. I'll admit that my own lack of self-esteem has taken a major toll on my image within the department. Yet, I cannot stop myself. I keep jokingly maintaining that I have "no idea why I'm here," and others remain silent instead of positively reinforcing my reasons for being here. Why do I need this continual positive reinforcement? That's just ridiculous! And, I can completely understand why these people would choose to remain silent since I keep saying it. True, they could be thinking that I am unworthy of being here. Or they could just be absolutely sick of hearing me constantly put myself down. I should just stop talking!

Personally, I've finally come to terms with being at a highly ranked school. I finally feel comfortable enough to not really worry what others think. . yet, this also has slightly more positive ramifications in the classroom as I no longer fear talking and asking questions.

Although those that sit in silence generally appear slightly more intelligent than my random prattling, I still recall what it's like to be a TA and just sitting and waiting for a response from my students. It was totally disappointing when they just sat there and had nothing to say. I would rather entertain silly questions than silence. But, that's just me.

I honestly can't say that I'm really enjoying this semester, but I can't say that I hate it either. I've become much more comfortable in this happy medium between passion and distaste. Although, I don't really enjoy most of the material I've been reading. . . I find myself to be so much more analytical and critical of it than if I did. However, I really loved reading AYLI again. . . and Michel de Certeau's The Practice of Everyday Life. . . and Lisa Cooper's "Bed, Boat, and Beyond." These have been the highlights of my recent weeks, and I'm finding myself more and more enthralled by theory and criticism than by actual texts. Is something happening to me?

Maybe I ought to read more "high" theory this summer? Maybe that's what I'm currently missing in my academic life?

Does this surprise anyone?

I was mildly surprised. . .

Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol

You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portrait You don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

I Love Fried Rice

Yesterday, as we all know, was the Lunar New Year (aka Chinese New Year). My friend and I decided to go to a potluck sponsored by the Association of Asian American Graduate Students (AAAGS). It was awesome! We opted to make both vegetarian and chinese sausage fried rice.

Initially, we argued a bit about the ingredients. The fried rice that I've made usually has chicken or bbq pork, but chinese sausage was a fair (if not better) substitute. My friend loves to put ketchup in her fried rice (she argues that it's the secret ingrediate to all great fried rice).
"Ketchup?? I've never had ketchup in my fried rice!"
She then responds, "Ketchup is what makes fried rice red."
"I've never eaten red fried rice."
"Well, ketchup also makes the fried rice tangy."
"Uh. . . I've never eaten tangy fried rice."
You can see where this conversation was going. . . In the end, I relinquished to ketchup. . . It tastes good, yet very different than the rice that I'm accustomed to.

So, we make two huge batches of this fried rice -- one with chinese sausage and the other without. Everyone at the party loved it. However, not as many people showed up to the party as we expected. So, we now each have one gigantic bowl (and I mean GIGANTIC) of fried rice that will last for many days (possibly weeks!). All in all, we had a great time meeting the Asian Americans in our local community. Everyone is a fantastic cook! Yum!

Happy New Year!

Let's get this party started!

I'm in the wrong business!

Yesterday, a friend and I were chatting about people we knew in fashion and/or interior design. She mentioned that one of her friends took a pop-up book class from the Stephen Greenblatt of pop-up book authors. . . All they did was make pop-up books!

I'm ridiculously jealous. . . of course, if I were majoring in pop-up books, I'm sure that I would find a way to intellectually terrorize it and make it "not fun."

Momentum is not. . .

... absolutely necessarily. . . Not right now, anyway. I'm just hours away from putting the finishing touches on my last paper from last semester. Yay, big procrastinator me, yay! I know that the momentum of the end of the term is exciting and loads of fun (har har har), but I don't think a slow pace when you're not under pressure makes my papers any worse. They seem to be a little more methodical. . . something that you can tongue and melt in your mouth, rather than biting straight away. . . I don't know. I think providing myself a good 2 weeks per paper seems to do the trick. Of course, the hard part is trying to actually find a full 2 weeks per paper to provide myself. Sigh.

Another nice thing about this semester is that I don't really have an emotional attachment to anything we're reading yet. Now, that is very interesting. . . I find that having no attachment to your topic (you neither like it or dislike it) makes it so much easier to write. Ultimately, I can be super objective about the work because I don't feel anything for it. Quality goes up as my expectations go down. . . quite ironic!

From a friend on myspace!

Oh Dave, you silly girl. . .

Which Disney Princess Are You? Jasmine You're the girl who has everything but is still desperate for the thing she cannot have, love. Jasmine first wandered onto our screen in Aladdin (1992)

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Back to School

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. . .

Actually, it's not. Today is the first day of the spring semester. I have one class in the middle of the day, but I still insisted on waking up early (well, early for me), trying out my new system of studying (well, sorta), and going to campus early for homework purposes. We'll see how it all turns out.
I hope everyone had a great set of holidays recently. I'm really excited forChinese New Year. . . This year pretty much sucked the big one.

I'm also including a ridiculously cute picture in this post: The well-known hippo-tortoise surrogate mom family:


I can't recall where I snatched this picture from, but I think that I found the story from Boing Boing.

What to look forward to

Happy New Year to all. Here are some things to look forward to in the new year:

• I don't have to write, edit, review, or present any Masters Projects
• No long distance moves across the state of Iowa or Nebraska
• No more Colorado conservative politics for me
  
• The comeback of moon boots
• No more Atkins diet stigma
• A DVD burner and a 250gb hdd!
• A new mattress to sleep on
• Another new semester (haha. . . devious laugh)
• No longer the newbie (again)
• I can finally wear legwarmers without shame
• Same thing with Ugg knockoffs
• MySpace and Facebook taking up all my time, along with Spider Solitaire (the old standard)
  
• The George Eliot Support group supporting itself with something other than George Eliot
• More Knightlys than D'arcys (or even more Crawfords or Tilneys)
  
• Doing things "doggie" style (dog being the new Chinese year)
• Taking incompletes without that "incomplete" stigma

Adendum coming. . .

Colorado really surprises me

The first day I came into Colorado, it was about as cold as Madison when I left. But that was the only cold day I've experienced here. Every day has been in the 60s, which is fairly unusual in Colorado's December, and I've been running around without a jacket or a hat for the last two weeks. It's been great!

Of course, this will also make the transition to Madison's winter so much worse. . . Now that I've had a taste of Colorado's great weather, I'm not sure if I want to go back!

Counting down the Chinese New Year!

We're supposedly going to have a good year. . . reaching our goals and working through our obstacles. . . I hope so because last year really sucked!

Finally home (but not home free)

So I finally made it back to Colorado on Thursday. It was a literal full day of travelling. I got up and took a cab to the Memorial Union at 6am,travelled by bus to Chicago from 7am-noon, got on an airplane to Colorado from 2:40-4:50pm, went to my parents' house and ate dinner at LD Buffet! from 6:00-11:30pm, and then finally made it to Greeley at around 12:30am.

I literally slept all day on Friday. I wrote my 2nd to last paper for a while, went to bed, got up and finished it this afternoon (well, I consider it finished!).

So that leaves me with this evening. I think I'm going to sleep some more. . .

Sadly, Colorado is getting about as cold as Madison was earlier this week. Unfortunately, I didn't bring anything to wear from Madison for the cold. I decided that my Madison coat (down coat that makes me look like the kid from A Christmas Story who can't keep his arms down) would stay in Madison. It's a symbolic gesture. . . shedding my Madison persona for Greeley (yeah, right). So, I'm now just freezing a little. . . oh well.

Oddly, I have fallen completely in love with my Ugg knock-offs for the cold weather. Although they aren't technically waterproof, the snow and wetness do not infiltrate the thick layers of faux fur that surround my bare feet. Plus, they're pink!

Oh yeah, so remember that drawing of Nail's Tales? Well, here's what the real deal looks like. . . basically the same. . . .

How perfect is this? R. Stevens is da man!

4 more weeks of school, 5 weeks for panicking!

I must write papers!!!

It's quite odd that our reading load has increased with time, and the expectation of really strong papers still remains. From now on, I will write papers closer to the beginning of the term, and I will continue to revise until the end. I can't take much more of this. . . Aargh!

Six weeks to go. . . the procrastination begins!

Right now I'm listening to random selections from the Best of Elvis Costello and thinking about things that are entirely unrelated to what I am supposed to be working on: a presentation on the non-satiric poetry of John Dryden. Ah yes. . . I used to tease those darn Americanists and their flashy literature. . . Now I wonder if it was all a big mistake. . . I could do for some Thomas Pynchon or even Hemingway right about now.

On an entirely different note, I guess there's a big to-do about the new sculpture in front of the currently being renovated Camp Randall. Some people think it looks like a phallus, others a pile of Badger doody. . . Well, have a look at an artist's rendition of this gigantic statue:



**Please note that those little round things are footballs.

I kinda like it, but I'm no art critic. I just think that it's so outlandish in a way that makes people glance askew. Isn't that the whole point of art these days?

State Street Scariness

Ok, so I was one of the many people who walked up and down State and lived to tell about it. I didn't think it was all that it was cracked up to be, but I had a feeling that I should try participating in the Halloween bash known to Madison as a total disaster waiting to happen.
Frankly, it was really crowded. But, nothing was going on at the time I was there. My friends and I were wandering around, observing the crazy costumes, from about 11-12:30. .. Then we went over to the Paradise (or is it Pair o' Dice?) bar and had a few conversations. Due to daylight savings ending, we wound up our evening around 1:30am instead of 2:30am. That would be lucky for us. Apparently, around 2:30am, people were dancing in the shower of pepper spray and glass.

I heard in the news that a fellow who was dressed up like Hunter S. Thompson died. We did spot a Thompson-esque individual and a friend dressed up like his crazy lawyer earlier in the evening; however, that was a lot earlier, and there were many people dressed in many of the same costumes.

I seriously and honestly believe that if there were a way to have businesses scatter their closing hours between 2:30 and 6am, there would be less of a chance of riot. Riots only occur when tons of people are booted out of all the bars simultaneously. You then have a congregation of thousands of drunk people with nothing to do. That just spells disaster. And, I know that many folks are considering the complete closure of all businesses on Halloween. Well, that probably spells trouble for the businesses, and that still doesn't guarantee that things are going to go well. Halloween is a huge party tradition here. Who's to say that closing businesses will even stop drunk and high folks from gathering on one of the most prominent streets in the city? At least, when the bars are open, people are separated into controllable groups. Think Foucault's Discipline and Punish, people!