Upon the advice of friends, I decided to drink a medium cappuccino to stay awake tonight and finish my homework. Caffeine is the devil. I quite drinking caffeine entirely last year. I only drink it in emergency, all-nighter situations. So, now it's 4am, I've finished most of my homework, and I can't go to sleep. I'm worried if I go to sleep, I won't wake up in time for my9:30am class. I'm also rather jittery. .. I wrote up an email for tomorrow, that I'm not entirely sure makes sense now. . . I also read, wrote my topic proposal for the same class, edited my friend's intro to his master's project, and wrote my friends about a summary of Althusser and the ISA. I'm freakin' out. Why would people ever want to put themselves in the precarious position of taking amphetamines to stay awake and do homework? My hands are shaking, and I don't know if what I am thinking actually makes any sense. I'm totally weirding myself out, and now I know that I will, at some point in the day tomorrow (well, technically today), completely crash and burn. Which totally sucks. Blah! How do people handle drinking caffeine so frequently? I'm worried about having a heart condition. . . my heart is beating so fast, and my hands are all shaky. Plus there are moments when I pause and get all drowsy, but then I suddenly stir with hyperactivity. This really is a weird state of being. I don't even remember what I was like when I drank caffeine. . . I wasn't even a heavy coffee drinker. . . I mainly drank tea and coke, so I don't know if this is the coffee or what. And I was foolish enough to order a cappuccino, not a regular coffee, a cappuccino. . . But I used to love cappuccinos. . . How? Was I a different person on caffeine? Was I happier, sharper, and more awake? Maybe human beings shouldn't always be in that state? Maybe it's a new state of consciousness that we normally couldn't access in our regular state? I don't know. . . I sincerely doubt that what I am saying right now is pure brilliance or anything like that because my hands are simultaneously tiring and numbing from my hyperactivity. . .
Damn caffeine!
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