Sunday, November 11, 2007

Explaining why Madison sucks

Aside from the issues of weather and overall climate (which we all know are absolutely horrible here), here are some reasons why Madison can occasionally suck:
  1. Madison is conservative: This is all relative. At one point, let's say in the 1960s, Madison was an island of liberal thought. Now, not so much. However, the local Sconnies have always boasted about Madison's liberal tendencies. Many places in the Midwest, including Chicago, call us the Red City for our Marxist vein... But, this is truly not the case here. Perhaps, if we are only looking in the five mile area known as the UW. Outside of that, Madison is just as conservative as one would expect a Midwestern farming state to be.
  2. Madison is racist: You wouldn't think it, would you... unless you finally notice that most of the caucasians live in the wealthy areas while the groups of minorities are stuck on the periphery of the city... Oh yes, the university promotes diversity in every way and shape possible... That's because there hardly isn't any.
  3. Madison is xenophobic: They don't like outsiders here. That's why there's the Sconnies vs. Coasties battle. And, the Sconnies do label us folks from Colorado as Coasties. Hello?? We're from a landlocked state. Not the coast. As if people from LA and NYC are going to be the same anyway. Sigh.
  4. Madison is overpriced: This again is all relative. Sure, we aren't anywhere near Chicago or New York prices, but we can't really boast the kind of view and activities they can... All I know is that I pay more to live here, where I freeze and have nothing to do, than in Denver, where I don't freeze and have stuff to do. Although you can find some juicy morsels of yummy food goodness at low prices, your taxes, rent, and/or entertainment will cost you a pretty penny. There are free of charge/low charge things to do, but they kind of suck because they don't charge and use the money to improve.
  5. There are a lot of crazy people here: These aren't your run-of-the-mill crazy people that you see hanging out. We do have those. We have drunks and druggies and generally rowdy people. But, we also have people that want to stock and harm other people. We also have folks that like to pretend they're door-to-door gynecologists. We also have people that have sex with dead deer carcasses on the side of the road. Of course, there are also the people who happen to stay up all night with 3 TVs blaring and decide to put up a flag for Veteran's Day at 5am on Sunday, and who also happen to be your downstairs neighbors. Need I say more?
  6. Nothing is open after 10pm: Except for bars. And Woodman's. But if I want to go to Walgreen's to pick up some cold medication, I'm out of luck. I'm also out of luck if I want to buy a 6-pack of beer after 9pm.
  7. If you don't like sports, you'll never fit in: I mean it. Never. It's not just football either. Everyone here plays a sport of some kind. They know people because of the sports they play. If you don't play or enjoy sports, they look at you as if you're some kind of alien. You might as well be painted in green... Oh, right... if you were painted in green, you'd probably be a sports fan. Duh.
I can't say that there are moments when I love Madison. But, sometimes I just need to vent about things that drive me crazy about this place. Blech.

36 comments:

Kirk and Cathy said...

Your list is exactly why we hate Wichita! It is crazy conservative, racist in a way that I though only existed in movies, and we're outsiders, so we're crap. I don't know about the deer sex- although if you read my MySpace blog, you'll note that at least a few people here believe that humans can impregnate all animals, and vice versa.

The one redeeming factor is that it is DIRT CHEAP out here. But we kind of hate it, for the reasons you outlined. We've started constructing a five year plan to get the hell out of here.

Emily said...

A five year plan? That's fantastic. We've been working on a plan to get us out of here too.

Again, I'm also surprised that Wichita would be so problematic... I know it's in Kansas, but I figured that it might be the one place in Kansas that was ok. Lawrence seemed ok when Kristy and I visited it, but everyone there was mean. I don't get it.

Kirk and Cathy said...

I've heard good things about Lawrence! We're planning a weekend trip there sometime soon.

Maybe we've just not yet found or niche in Wichita. Maybe we'll stay. For now, we want to go back to Colorado, or somewhere new and exciting. There are aspects that I like, but the things I hate currently drive me more crazy than the things I like make me happy, you know?

Dirt cheap is pretty awesome though. I don't know how I'll adjust to the prices if we move anywhere else, esp California or the East coast or something.

Anonymous said...

I hate madison for exactly all the reasons you do, and more. The medical, if anyone from outside of wisconsin is even considering it, is the epitome of conservative, totally dismisses students (I mean they accepted us, but they treated us like we're absolutely the most vile dumb people in the world- way more so than other medical schools- i've discussed this with friends at other schools...so why accept us, if our opinions are so worthless?), and yes, if you like sports and exercise you will get a better grade from attendings...just try talking about a book and you will just receive blank, awkward stares of disbelief and horror. They also have a very definitive smattering of passive-aggressive uncultured racist attendings, residents, and medical students. Furthermore, they give huge preference to students with children at the cost and inconvenience of students without children, and they do NOT make this clear to us when we're in the application process. And at the end of all of this, the past 4 years has been the most mediocre educational experience of my life, and a lot of my classmates and attendings are just not intelligent, and in general poorly educated.

also the city is boring. all the bars are the same. the stores suck. the weather sucks. and it just plain sucks. SUCKS. no amount of scholarship money is worth coming here.

Anonymous said...

Well, Madison is alright if you fall into one of two categories: 1) mildly retarded, sports-lovin' college douchebag (downtown), 2) elitist vegan hippie with dreadlocks and a 'Yes We Can' t-shirt (near eastside).

In all fairness, of course, there are other, smaller, less conspicuous cliques scattered throughout the city, but they're just as elitist and xenophobic -- if not more so -- as the college brats and the pseudo-liberals.

As for anybody who's still under the delusion that this city is even remotely leftist, just try explaining to one of these so-called 'leftist radicals' why exactly you voted for Nader last time around and see what kind of reaction you get -- it's not so much that they don't agree with you as it is that they're completely unwilling to even hear you out . . .

Basically, if you liked high school, you'll love Madison. If not, move someplace else.

Mick said...

Madison sucks! The street layout is a disaster, the city can't plow snow worth a damn, and the city is run by by liberal retards who've never held real jobs and are in denial about the gang and crime problems. Plus, it's too damned expensive! We moved out of Madison and Dane County after five years, never looked back! Plus you can't go to a farmers market without being accosted by any number of jerks with some leftist political agenda trying to foist brochures and crap off on you! Madison is a liberal island surrounded by reality, couldn't wait to leave!

That Frood said...

OMG I KNO!!! MADISION IS SUCH A PECE OF CRAP. I WNT THERE AND I KNO ALL ABOUT IT. I AM EXPRT.

Nicholas said...

it's true, Madison does suck.. but not because of what it is, it's because of what it pretends to be. Madison people have some delusional egotistical opinion about their tiny little farm town -- they think it's a cultural mecca, and that's simply not true. Madison is a small Midwestern college town and that's it, nothing more. Seeing buskers on state street playing the guitar with an overturned hat filled with coins they put into it themselves makes me laugh... these spoiled little brat college students want to pretend like the town is urban and creative, when the reality is everything shuts down in the summer... Madison might as well be a seasonal festival.. except the season is the school year and the people there think it's real. The reality is that none of them would know how to survive one day in a real city like Milwaukee or Chicago. Wisconsin's only true city is Milwaukee... it's some ten times bigger than Madison with two million residents in its metro area and a truly organic, thriving urban fabric with all the tapestries of city culture mixed into unique neighbourhoods. Madison is no Milwaukee or Chicago. Madison is more of a Wichita, KS or a Springfield, IL

Anonymous said...

Never have I lived in a more culturally and intellectually inbred place as this. I wake up every morning to the wretched smell of lake funk, smog, cow farm and paper mill effluvia that settles in this shit town called Madison. The university also suffers from the same delusion as the city it resides in.

Anonymous said...

Love your blog. I agree, Madison is way over rated as a city. The people think they are hip-not.

Anonymous said...

I spent four years in Madison and was greatly disappointed. I never
encountered more close-minded people.
My biggest complaint...the women.
Aloof, sarcastic and generally a
lot less attractive than they think.
The Student Union was nice, however.

Anonymous said...

I've lived in about 20 different cities in two countries before coming to Madison and it's the first place I've been where everyone didn't say "this place sucks". No, they're proud of where they're from. I think that's more of a Wisconsin thing than Madison thing, but it applies here.

This is the safest city I've lived in, in the US.

It's the cleanest city I've lived in.

It's a great place to raise a kid, with hundreds of parks and good schools.

The University is in the top ten in the country for biomedical research (my job).

The food is better and more diverse than you would get in any other city this size.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the last Anonymous. Though people from every city I have lived in claim that their city has the worst weather, drivers, and idiots (be that racists, politicians, parents of small children, hipsters, etc), Madison does not.

Yes, they have all the little quirks that make all cities suck, but it is also safe, clean, has good food, the farmer markets and if you need museums, theatre or culture there is always Minneapolis, Chicago or Milwaukee nearby.

Anonymous said...

really, if it sucks so much MOVE to somewhere that doesn't suck.

Nobody forced you to move there, and nobody is forcing you to stay. Oh, but right, it's a fantastic university, and you want your pretentious degree from here.

Anonymous said...

If you don't mind, I will rebut all of your points. First of all, the weather is fantastic. Summers are beautiful on the isthmus, and winter time is full of great snow, with nearby ski hills around. Second, in comparison with much of Wisconsin Madison is not at all conservative. Most of the city votes very liberally, hell it is a liberal town in general. I don't know where you are encountering such strong conservatism. Next, racism is everywhere, I guess I have little to say on that point. But as for xenophobia, there are many people from all parts of the country and the world that attend the university, and there does not exist some existential battle between "sconnies and coasties". Whoever labeled a Colorado-an a coastie is an idiotic outlier. Then, prices: you are right on relativity, but like any other city calling EVERYTHING expensive is a huge generalization. There are lots of expensive things, and lots of very well priced things. Let's see, next item is crazy people. I have no idea what you are talking about. You must have gotten unlucky and met a few whack jobs. There is no way that Madison can be characterized like that, I know (and am myself) countless reasonable normal people throughout the city. Next, as someone else pointed out, there are lots of things open past ten. I can think of a Walgreens near me that is open until midnight. Finally, sports culture is kinda big, but it is definitely NOT the case that you must like sports to fit in. Madison has tons and tons of recreational activities and other items of cultural note that have nothing to do with sports. Maybe Green Bay is all sports and nothing else, but certainly not Madison.

Andrew said...

OMG- besides everyone being a baby, I love the comment someone stated Madisonians wouldn't survive or know what to do in a REAL big city like Milwaukee of Chicago.--HAHAHAHA really?...if you're not an 80 year old with down syndrome I think ANYONE can hang in ANY city they want. Talk about being an urban-uppity!!- You hold Chicago and Milwaukee as urban kingdoms like OZ and the dorthys in Madison have no idea what to do there- you should really get a clue- You can bitch about anything-anywhere- at anytime-the trick is to enjoy life, something you obviously have trouble with. Like many above, I have lived in many places and I always keep the same credo: come as you are!!!!!-don't analyze a city to death just enjoy yourself

John and Anima said...

Madison offers the lakeshore path and bike paths around Mendota and Monona, plus there's Picnic Point and many other extremely nice parks with free summer swimming all around the city. Madison contains many diffuse neighborhoods that offer a kind of cold, indifferent warmth. Overall, it is a LOT less liberal than in years past, but so is Berkeley, for that matter. Conservative money talks and liberals walk...away from the gentrified neighborhoods. Universities' sociological infrastructures devolve coinciding with the devolution of the culture in general. I'm sure most liberal college kids from the 60's would consider the liberal students of this era to be complete brainwashed, corporate sell-outs.

That being said, Madison is probably one of many skeleton liberal college towns that are still hanging on to an illusion of what they once were. It's really just another post-liberal, conservative city that's losing ground against a growing tide of duh-fight-bad-foreigners-bad mentality being promulgated on the entire US population ever since Reagan cemented military industrial complex CEOs into the backbone of the government.

Theflickeringeyeball said...

I hate Madison because the "counter culture" is as boring and close minded as the mainstream culture it purports to defy. And all anybody wants to talk about here is food. People philosophize about food. They write porn and articles about food. They take the same kind of pleasure in food that I take from Tony Iommi's guitar playing. I have been on about a million first dates here. The conversation starts out about food. I keep waiting for it to get interesting and it never does. And I have put a great deal of proactive effort into being happy in Madison and have come up more miserable than when I started. What I hate the most about this city is that I can't seem to find a way to leave. The one thing that would make it possible, which is a job elsewhere (anywhere), never materializes despite the considerable effort on my part. I am starting to entertain fantasies about committing ritual self-disembowelment with a ball point pen while kneeling in front of Graze at dinner time on a Friday night. Anybody take issue with what I have just said, UP YOURS AD INFINITUM.

Theflickeringeyeball said...

And dont aspire to be anything serious from a musical standpoint. People dont want to hear it unless it is either campy or gender-bending or both. And they will accuse you of taking yourself too seriously as they take pictures of their dinners and post them on Facebook. Truly......self immolation appears at times to be the only appropriate response (once again, up yours to whoever doesnt like what I have to say).

Anonymous said...

I know I'm a few years late here, but in 2008, when this post was created, I was still happily living in NYC. I have since moved here, to Madison, for all the wrong reasons, and cannot wait to get out! This is a pathetic excuse for a "city" that's nothing more than at little town with a small town mentality. except that all the Madisonians take themselves way too seriously and actually think they are better than everyone else. WTF, people? You are small-minded, small-town people, your biggest achievement is living through five months of winter. Woohoo. Anyone with a down coat can do that. You are pathetic. All of you. No exceptions. This town has nothing to offer. Arts are pitiful, there is NOTHING in the way of culture, food is bland and depressing, international cuisine is non-existant. Blech. Not to mention the goddamned road work every fucking day of the summer. Feels like living in a war zone, when it's the only three months of the year you don't feel like killing yourself because of the neverending cold and snow. YOU SUCK MADISON GET OVER YOUR PITIFUL SELF!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I'm going to school at Madison and nearly everyone is just the biggest jerk, so entitled and they look down and look down and look down and the campus would be so perfect if not for the students...

Anonymous said...

Yes it can be boring and the weather is challenging but I honestly can't stand the people. Very judgemental and mean. Replace the people and I would make it work easily.

Anonymous said...

Every time I go back to visit I am struck by how quaintly provincial Wisconsin is. It's like it's stuck in 1986. They still play the same music on the radio. Beer and burgers. Fried cheese curds. And the Packers. Jesus, move on already. Something is seriously wrong with people there. Madison doesn't suck any more than the rest of the State except that people think it is different, which it's not - it's just where the snobs live. Any State that would elect Scott Walker is brain dead. So go ride your stupid snowmobiles and go hunting every fall, Wisconsin has the ugliest women in the nation without a doubt. That's reason enough to leave.

Anonymous said...

That said, I thought of one nice thing to say about Wisconsin - you guys have the BEST DRUNK DRIVERS IN THE WORLD. yay.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I was thinking of how much I hated UW-Madison, where I received my worthless MA and PhD, and so I typed "UW Madison sucks" into Google. This blog post turned up first in the results. Read your post and agree with you 100%. Just thinking about the years I lived in Madison makes me regret every decision I've made since the age of 22. I wish I'd never heard of Madison, Wisconsin. Thanks for putting this out there. You've made my night.

Anonymous said...

A Walgreens open til midnight does not a city make.

Anonymous said...

If you really want to learn, consider other place. Madison is not for books.

Anonymous said...

(Typical Wisconsinite)

Anonymous said...

I was born and raised in this city. I managed to be allowed into their University thinking that I would be getting a decent education and it was overrated, the students who are being told they are the "cream of the crop" and the university that keeps calling itself "a world class institution" as if it is trying to convince itself of something. The landlords overcharge for hundred year old housing that they never bother to repair. I've lived in places with rats and mold, buildings where landlords never bothered to replace the roofing. There is always some fool telling me how great the place is. I remember when a blue collar person could actually get a job making and producing things. Today the city consists of the upper middle classes and the poor service industry shlubs who serve them. The rich just think they are better than everyone else, the middle classes think they are the only people in the world. The black people in my broke ass neighborhood on the edge of town have been telling me all my life that I was white trash and should get out of "their" neighborhood. The politics postures as "liberal" but by "liberal" they mean conservative democrats who like to talk about things they don't understand like "diversity". I just love being lectured on diversity by middle class white scum who think that because I wear a blue collar that I'm genetically defective. I've had to wade the backed up sewage to get to my overpriced apartment every time the storm drains back up. Worse still are people who come here thinking its the greatest place in the damn universe. The police are jumpy and amateurish. The truth is I'll be trapped in this city until I die. The politicians from around the state of Wisconsin are constantly berating the city of Madison for being a land of satan worshipping communists, but when they get elected I get to watch them pay underage girls for sex at the bars like good little born again christians. The local music stinks. It stinks bad. The problem is that upper middle class professionals have no taste in anything, they listen to bad music, they eat lousy food and think its great. There is an entire city they don't even know about that's buried under the craptastic service industry. The biggest private employer in the area, Epic Systems, openly discriminates against any prospective employee that is over the age of 30. Those they do hire move into your neighborhood and drive up the rent. They don't get mugged enough. No, I'm not jealous of your success...I smile in your face even as I hate you. The lakes are sewers. They were bad when I was a kid but now they festering open sewers. The well water is tainted with metals of various sorts. When I go out to wait at the bus stop homeless women try to befriend me because they know I won't treat them like dirt. The only women who have ever bothered to talk to me here and they are trying to get my money. I still can't see why people here give two craps about college sports...college athletes stink....that's why people watch the professionals. The only people who read books here are the homeless people at the public library. What keeps me here are my family and friends and that it is where I was born. I can't even imagine why anyone would live here unless they were in witness protection and had no choice. The mayor needs to retire "Mr Student General Strike" telling local workers they can't go on strike and then going to ask us for our votes. The real estate market is insane. A tiny guy in a big SUV tried to buy a random house from me just because I was standing in front of it. I suppose things are the same everywhere in this country, I don't like anything here anymore and the only way out is to die. I'm looking forward to it.

Deadhater1916 said...

Yeah, lived there for 9 years .Had a lot of friends for the first 5 years then a famous rocker(Steve Marker) tried to make look like a pedophile. Lost all my friends , no one would believe me when I tried to prove that I wasn't. Basically a massive lie was attached to me and I couldn't shake it off of me. All cause this fucking asshole had a following. Also agree with the stalking bit ( stock and harm) yes people are totally like that there. It's fucking horrible. The environment is filled with severe alcoholics,cokeheads,and,junkies. Most everyone is delusional and are still drooling over the fact that Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins recorded there.Get over it already. Kurt Cobain is dead and Billy Corgan is a fucking closet queer. Smart Studios was funded by rich kids . Nothing punk or cutting edge about that. Garbage is an overrated band and Shirley Manson is older than the hills. Not as sexy as she was back in the day. The music scene is fixed like a bad greyhound race.
They hate the homeless there. Yeah, they have free meals there. That is a good thing I suppose but, they are scared to have more warming shelters. I was watching a town hall meeting that was televised on WYOU and most of the discussion was based around fear.I literally saw a man screaming to the people in attendance about the welfare of his children and, how the warming shelter would jeopardize that.As if every homeless person was a child molester. I guess they would rather see them freeze to death rather than help them out. My what proud hippies / yuppies folks you are.
Let us not forget the Tavern League of Wisconsin. Those people are the Mob and the most backward ideals I've ever heard. They are against drunk driving but, pro binge drinking.
I could go on and on. If someone asked me if I would recommend Madison Wisconsin I would tell them to stear clear. In fact , I would tell them to get out of or don't bother moving to Wisconsin. So many better places you could go. So many better people you could be hanging out with.


Anonymous said...

This article is well written. I agree totally with the points made in this post and more. I encountered many unusual circumstances while attending Wisconsin. People kept telling me how liberal it was. I would always counter that it was a "liberal" city in a conservative state. And yes, Madison IS racist. You are the first person I have encountered who did not try to smooth over that fact it being more passive aggressive than racist. Its both! Madison has an identity crisis in many ways. It wants to be something that its not...an international city. Great article and thank you for demonstrating the courage to post these passages.

Anonymous said...

very high property taxes to live in.... not worth it... other than uw Madison the city has nothing to show for

kccomicstudio said...

Sounds to me like your a demokrat; why don't you move to a shithole of a city like San Francisco- pay 1 zilliona month for a room that isn't worth a pile of beans, step in human feces, and pay rediculously exorbant prices and end up homeless with a thousand other mentals, then you'll love it where your at regardless of weather.

Pete Dailey said...

Ive heard some very good explanations of Madison WI (Satanville). To outsiders, If you want to be miserable and worship all things that are wrong with the world, come here. Particularly corporate sucking medical pros polarizing economically everything. Nice job you elitist pricks. Ive been here 30 years and it was kinda cool in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps very cool. Epic software in conjunction with the university elite has made this a very bad place. As soon as I can afford im getting out. This time I mean it.

Anonymous said...

I never thought I would place stock into anything on the internet since it appears majority of the post derived from Rent center computers or the local trailer parks and the information has no quality. However, I have change my mind from conducting a little research on the post from a city that was voted one of the best places to live in the United States and the best place to live in the State of Wisconsin.
But after reading the post which states the racial and conservative ideological perspectives in the area leads me to turn down the position to relocate to the area. Since I am African-American, Black or whatever label one would put on me. Over looking I am a 100 percent combat related retired Armed Service member who has always supported this country. I went into a coma after getting shot defending the right of Americans to speak their mind. I might have been fighting and defending the wrong country since I see these posts and all the hate.
As stated I officially turned down the position and informed the Real Estate agent there will be no need to schedule any more viewings. Wow this was a bummer to find out the minds and thoughts of people who appear to be full of hate and mistrust toward Americans. During this time in this country and the planet please take care of yourself and stay healthy since you need to live another day to spread more hate speeches and worry about the color of a person skin. It is funny the virus do not have any color lines. So, if this can’t bring the best city together and find some happiness I don’t know what will.
Be safe and healthy.

Anonymous said...

"minorities are stuck on the periphery"

While others have worked hard to live in the nicer places in and around the city.