Sunday, November 18, 2007

As my brain slowly weeps...

You would think this post is about my weekend of grading, but it's surprisingly not. Instead, Keith and I found that there is something about our apartment that is making us stupid. I kid you not. We both woke up this morning in a mental haze. Once we determined that there was "something not quite right" with our recent mental burps (my stupidity in front of friends, colleagues, and superiors and his silly mistakes at work), Keith devised a plan to determine what the cause of this haze really is.

He opened all the windows, propped fans in our hallways, and shut the bathroom door closed. Within half an hour, we found that we were a bit more clear in thought and verbal ability. Finally! We've determined that something in our apartment is making us stupid.

We suspect that it is either a lack of oxygen in our air supply or sewage gas coming from our bathroom sink and tub. We will conduct more experiments until we've determined a conclusive result.

In any case, Keith's temporary brain deadness has been reduced. However, since I've been exposed to this weird, winter phenomenon in this current apartment and my former apartment (in the same complex), I'm still experiencing the lasting results of my brain-deadness. This explains why I keep feeling dumber and dumber as the years pass during my PhD program. It's not that I've stopped evolving and learning... It's because my brain is dying from staying at home.


Soon I may find myself voting for a republican president in the next election. Or even worse, calling George W the greatest American hero of our time. I'm hoping that my next doctor's visit will determine whether I can reverse the damage that my apartment has caused on my brain...

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