Thursday, November 23, 2006

Song survey

Per Christina:
Go to Pop Culture Madness and select the year you turned 18. Snip the best 75 songs from the list and paste it in your journal. Bold the ones you like, strike the ones you dislike, italicize the ones you know but neither like nor dislike and leave the ones you don't know as common text.

1. Cotten Eye Joe - Rednex
2. One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey & Boys II Men
3. I'll Be There For You - Rembrandts
4. Run Away - Real McCoy
5. You Gotta Be - Des'ree
6. Boombastic - Shaggy
7. I Could Fall In Love - Selena
8. Take Your Time (Do It Right) - Max-A-Million
9. Better Man - Pearl Jam
10. Fantasy - Mariah Carey
11. We've Got It Goin' On - Backstreet Boys
12. Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? - Bryan Adams
13. Fat Boy - Max-A-Million
14. This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
15. I Like It, I Love It - Tim McGraw
16. Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band
17. Hey Lover - LL Cool J
18. The Woman In Me - Shania Twain
19. I Wish - Skee-Lo
20. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
21. Come And Get Your Love - Real McCoy
22. When I Come Around - Green Day
23. Sexual Healing - Max-A-Million
24. Thank You - Boyz II Men
25. Kiss From A Rose - Seal
26. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Nikki French
27. Any Man Of Mine - Shania Twain
28. What Would You Say - Dave Matthews Band
29. Big Poppa - Notorious B.I.G.
30. Tootsie Roll - 69 Boyz
31. I Believe - Blessid Union Of Souls
32. Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root
33. Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
34. Gangsta's Paradise - Coolio
35. Everything Zen - Bush
36. New Age Girl - Dead Eye Dick
37. The Bomb! - The Bucketheads
38. I Got Id - Pearl Jam
39. Let Me Be The One - Blessid Union Of Souls
40. Colors Of The Wind - Vanessa Williams
41. Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number - Aaliyah
42. Lightning Crashes - Live
43. Boom Boom Boom - Outhere Bros.
44. Good - Better Than Ezra
45. Tonight Is The Night - Le Click
46. Short Short Man - 20 Fingers
47. Run-Around - Blues Traveller
48. Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop) - Scatman
49. December - Collective Soul
50. Hooked On You - Silk
51. Waterfalls - TLC
52. (I Could Only) Whisper Your Name - Harry Connick, Jr.
53. Creep - TLC
54. Dreaming Of You - Selena
55. Good Intentions - Toad The Wet Sprocket
56. Misery - Soul Asylum
57. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - U2
58. Buddy Holly - Weezer
59. Roll To Me - Del Amitri
60. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
61. Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
62. As I Lay Me Down - Sophie B. Hawkins
63. Baby Baby - Corona
64. Lick It - Roula
65. Carnival - Natalie Merchant
66. Girlstown - Supercat
67. Baby - Brandy
68. Hand In My Pocket - Alanis Morissette
69. I Kissed A Girl - Jill Sobule
70. Seether - Veruca Salt
71. Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish
72. Exhale (Shoop Shoop) - Whitney Houston
73. Wonderful - Adam Ant
74. Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
75.
I'm The Only One - Melissa Ethridge

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Why can't I be a grading machine?

Btw, if you happen to write a full sonnet which is more fabulous than my current epilogue, by all means post it in the comments!

I really wanted to get grading completed before Turkey day, but I have failed in my task. Alas, everything I look at those papers, I get depressed and frustrated. Hell, I merely retreat into reading novels. Tristram Shandy has become my sole comfort!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Me vs. The Library Fines Lady; or, An Example of Beauracracy

Dramatis Personae
Me
LFL (aka Library Fines Lady)
Kristiane (my friend)
Tricia (my other friend)

Act I: The Present
(Tricia is in the office. Emily enters)
Tricia: Whoa, Em. You look frustrated. What's wrong?
Me: Grr. . .
T: Is it the Library, again?
Me: Yes. Indeed it is.
T: It seems like you've been tackling this problem for a while. Did it finally get resolved?
Me: Yes. Today. Grr. . . Completely idiotic.
T: Start from the beginning. What happened?


Act II: September
(Library Fines Lady is in Room 170. Kristiane enters with many books and an eagerness to get things resolved)
LFL: Hi, how may I help you?
Kristiane: I would like to return these books my friend Emily checked out for me. I would also like to pay her fines.
LFL: Shame, shame, shame ON YOU! You can certainly return these books, but we're still going to make your life hell.
K: How so?
LFL: We won't allow you to pay her fines. In fact, we won't even tell you how much the fine is. Your friend will need to come in, with you perhaps? She will then need to pay the fine and have you pay her immediately after. That way we can waste your time and her time simultaneously.
K: How much is the fine?
LFL: I'm not telling.
K: Even though the book has been returned?
LFL: Lalalala. . . I can't hear you?
K: You do realize this is ridiculous?
LFL: Yup. Now get out. . . NEXT!
(Exuent Kristiane)


ACT III: October
(Library Fines Lady is still in Room 170. Emily comes in with a positive attitude and an eagerness to resolve this issue)
LFL: Hi, how may I help you?
Me: A few weeks ago, my friend returned some books she borrowed under my name. She also asked to pay the fines, but you refused. You said that I would have to pay.
LFL: And pay you shall. . . . muhahaha!
Me: What?
LFL: Oh nothing. . .
Me: Anyway, I would like to pay. How much is the fine?
LFL: The book was from a different library. They are the ones fining you. We can't tell you how much the fine is. But we will lift the hold on your library account if you write a check for the exact amount of the fine and provide a stamp and envelope.
Me: Well, I have my checkbook. Could I purchase a stamp and envelope from you?
LFL: No.
Me: But I can see a stack of stamps and envelopes on your desk over there. Couldn't I give you cash for those?
LFL: No.
Me: Ummm. . . What about the cost of the fine? How can I find this out?
LFL: You can call this number. It leads to a voicemail that no one answers. You can leave an unlimited number of voicemails and no one will respond.
Me: Uh. . .
LFL: Now, be gone! I have a lunch break!
(Exuent Emily)


Act IV: October, part II
(LFL is in Room 170. Emily enters, frustrated)

LFL: Hi, how may I help you?
Me: You gave me a phone number to call for my fine. I've called that number. I leave voicemail messages. No one calls back. I can't pay my fine unless I know the exact amount. Yet, I cannot know the exact amount. I am frustrated. I want to check out library books.
LFL: Muhahaha!
(Exuent Emily, pursued by a bear)


Act V: November
(LFL is in Room 170. Emily enters, exasperated)
LFL: Hi, how may I help you?
Me: Alright, you evil thing. You've won. You've bested me. You got that?? You've won. I'm going to write a check for $20 and assume that this is more than enough for this damn library fine.
LFL: Hold on. . . let me check to see if this is the sum you need to pay.
Me: What? You told me that you couldn't look up the amount!
LFL: I can't be bothered by your concerns.
Me: What?
LFL: Hmmm. . . According to our computer, you don't have a fine. I just need to click this button and your hold disappears.
Me: *makes whimpering noise*
LFL: Yup. There you go. I clicked on a button. You may now proceed with checking out books.
Me: You broke me.
LFL: Have a nice day!
(Exuent Emily)


Epilogue
Tricia: As you can see, the library's no friend.
Her struggle with the library woman
Left her with no options towards the end.
A matter of stress for any human.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

It's starting. . . it's starting. . . it started!

It is now officially that time in the semester when I have more than I can chew! I can now panic over trivial matters, sound incoherent as I lurch around without any sleep, and do ridiculous things like procrastinate via many MANY games of spider solitaire! Rejoice all! The end is near! . . . Well, hopefully the end of the semester is near.

Friday, November 10, 2006

I hit my porn limit yesterday

Okay. So our film class is finally in its porn segment. We are studying Women and Film from the 1930s on, and one of our final segments is pornography. Well. On Monday, we watched a full length porn, the famous "The Opening of Misty Beethoven." I then read half of Linda William's Hard Core, which is a book that theorizes the porn genre. And I read it for several days. Then in class, we watched these French mini films that are closely related to our version of stag films. AT that point, I realized that I hit my porn limit. All I wanted to do was lay down in a fetal position in a dark corner of a room and not touch anything. . . It was something in my head that screamed, "If I have to see one more money shot!!!"

At any rate, here is probably the only "safe" clip to show from Misty Beethoven, and I would also say that you shouldn't show it with the volume on at work:

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

What is wrong with people?!!

I'm going to rant here: I can't believe they passed that damn civil union ban. What does this mean? This not only affects same sex couples, but it affects all folks that do or do not want to get married. Thanks a lot voters of Wisconsin! You've ruined everyone's lives!



In other news, I split an entire bottle of wine with another friend yesterday because she was having a really bad day. Soon after, we had to screen "The Opening of Misty Beethoven" a rather. . . well. . . mid 1970s porno for class. That was a weird experience. To top it all off, we ran over to the Sun Room Cafe for mussels and other food. An odd day.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Hooray! Scary Go Round!!!

Tessa and Rachel have returned to Scary Go Round .

It was about damn time!

In other news, sorry I haven't posted for a while. I've been busy. Ril, ril, ril busy. So this is what's been going on (in my usual bulleted list form):
  • I've given 2/3 conference papers this semester. All different conference papers, all the time.
  • I have successfully given a quickie lecture. . . well, at least I think it was successful. . .
  • I wrote my first schoolish website for my 167 Lecture (I don't do the lecture or teach myself)
  • I have watched The Departed and Borat.
  • I've just finished my Writing Center training.
  • I have 50% of my dissertation committee completed. But, hey, they are the more important and special 50%.
  • I'm catching up on Scrubs and Sex and the City
  • I've tried Indian food in Madison. It's pretty good!
  • I not only stopped my caffeine sobriety but am fully embracing it. I drink way too much caffeine now.
Things to come in the near future:
  • Two final papers this term -- I have no idea what I will be writing on yet.
  • I am turning 30 in July.
  • I will take my final semester of English Lit courses in the spring.
  • I have yet to eat any ice cream since my return to Madison (crazy, I know!).
  • I will move out of my one bedroom and move into a 2-3 bedroom with my S.O.
  • Studying for prelims will consume me this summer.

Things to come in the distant future:
  • What shall my dissertation be? Aack!
  • What shall my career be and where? Aack!
  • Wassup with all of these Aacks!? Aack!